mrcrisp

i had a dream where i dropped all my cash on a new DSLR camera and hit all the blooming and destabilized countries around the world, hoping from hostel to beach hut to camp. it'd be a realistic aspiration if i wasn't such an idealist.

still no news on the work/medical front. went in for 6 hours today, will probably get the business for not being there long enough. after around 5 hours of sitting in the same stiff chair, tension from my leg resulted in a kinked back. a motrin, bottle of malt, and some fried chicken later, and i'm sitting here in a towel with a copy of tours of the black clock on my lap, still sore - sharp pain flashing in a chaotic pattern across the front, back, outside, and inside of my thigh like some sporadic lightening in the cumuli on the horizon. i'm getting ready to lay into the first person i see tomorrow who has anything to do with my potential medical hold. i've put up with the pain for long enough now, but the inherent stress that comes with it and the troubles it's caused at work i will not abide. if i have to take it up the chain of command, i will. if i have to talk to the command career counselor, i will. if i have to threaten to quit, that wouldn't be too hard.

i feel quite useless when it comes to nuclear power, anyways. just as i am worse than mediocre at everything else i've given a shot, really. i'll find something eventually, but that won't happen when i'm stuck here. life is too short to be doing something that you know you don't want to do. now how to explain that to the man?

i'm listening to this now.


i want to be wearing this now.

i want to be playing with this

tomorrow to do: buy more cigarettes, grocery shop.

this is kind of a stupid post.

i had that itch today - i wrote something. not done yet, but it's sure to progress as i sink deeper into delinquency at work.

working on a new pandora playlist. so far it includes
the black lips, dead low tide, hot water music, johnny thunders, the time flys, and the murder city devils as is growing rapidly. i'm pleased with how it's sounding so far.

katie comments on the television, how it's perched precariously on a pile of empty boxes. she says, "you can't always live out of boxes and seabags." she asks me to move back with her to california, and now i'm waiting on orders to washington or guam or maybe even on a hold that would keep me in south carolina as long as necessary (my lease is up in 11 months). i tell her i'd rather not have to deal with the boxes and seabags at all, that i'd be happy with just the clothes on my back as long as i washed them on occasion. and she asks just where my clean clothes are.

but what do i want to do? i like making stupid pictures. i'd like to think i'm alright at it, too. i just found this today:

back when NIN's with teeth was just coming out, a lot of people bemoaned the way reznor sang "awith-ah teeth!" i made it into a groovy t-shirt instead:




maybe there's something to it.

and i want to crash and burn.