mr_sunshine

here we are again. the season where we celebrate the birth of christ. and the burning of the oil. and the death of the green man as he gestates in mother nature's womb, awaiting rebirth. and whatever the fuck kwanzaa's supposed to be for. and we watch as people go through the most stress and depression of the whole year. and for what? to worry about keeping up with the jonses? to provide our children with the very thing that they want more than any other so that they can believe in a generous patriarchal figure who someone will only tear down some day? and yet, even as i write this i have joined the hordes to give presents to everyone i care about. and i sell things to harried parents who don't understand the virtual worlds their children inhabit on a daily basis. when i was younger, the commercialism of the holidays never even registered in my consciousness. i heard people reference it and could have cared less. but now i understand the dilemma. and there's a simple solution. show the ones you care about how much you care. if giving a present is the best way you can find to do it, so be it. but i'm going to strive this year to show people, with my actions even more than my words that i care about them. and the gift will be my contunued attempts to carry that out throughout the year. i may fail miserably, but it's worth it just to try.

i think.

maybe i'll just spend more. emotions are hard.