Okay,
I'm getting lazy here... I need a job... so at some point during this week I shall be doing something about this...
My grandma died yesterday. She was someone I cared for more than anyone else. I also (just like everyone else in my family) have been neglecting her. I'm not sad though... I find myself at ease knowing she isnt suffering anymore. I was much sadder at her suffering life then at peace in death...
As for my recollection of events:
Thursday: We find out there going to be pulling out the tube on my grandma... she's probably going to die. Sam and I (lol) are in San Diego with Brandon. We head home ASAP and I spend the night by grandma's side. I think this is the point where I accepted her death, and 2 hrs of sleep.
Friday: They take the tube out of her and shes doing as well as expected (living odds 5%) I get a ride from my mother (my cars still not fixed but getting there) home from the hospital and sit here doing nothing all day (I wish with my mighty hindsight that nothing would have been cleaning the house instead). Mom gets me later and Sam decides he's going to stay the night with her. I persuade my mother for use of her car (I swear I just wanted to go out hang out and get my mind off things). I go by Starschmucks and no ones really there Robert is but he looked amused with someone else so I left him alone... besides I wanted enough people to keep attention at the time (Sorry Robert). So it's off to Blue2 where I see my nieces hanging out... I consider this a more questionable place for youngsters to hang out but none the less fun so I'm immediately freaked out but give in to the fact they're just kids there looking for fun. This leads to me and Sabrina playing a game of DDR and Spoon shows up and I'm trying to get some gaming with him because hes good. But he gets extra flakey... (And Sabrina and Krystal (nieces) run off to "talk to that cute guy" (I constantly find new moments to feel old in life...) SO... I'm ready to Give up when I see Alex talking to Destiny w/ Buddy close by and I walk over Alex and Buddy are scheming, and Alex mentions going somewhere and drinking... (I know this might sound like a depressed I need a beer moment but it really wasn't. It was more of okay its something to do). He says "do you know Tabitha?" and I say "Yeah..." and he says "not the one from PC..." which was a no so he says he's interested in hanging out with her... I'm not expecting much... the best description I've heard of Alex is "he's a 13 yr old boy who likes to use his penis and guitar". On scale I see Alex in actually looking for a girl and having a chance to come out to 7 out of 10 tops... not good but not at all bad either. So they scheme it as Alex and James meet the girls they all go back to James's and Alex "runs" into Buddy at the store... I know this is going to turn bad but the stupid person inside of me just wants something to do and really hopes for the best. Tabitha and Delila (remember scheming part) show up and I'm talking to my nieces... I'm floored by Tabitha... first I'm thinking whoa super hottie but she's just another Caitlin... then she talks and spews forth intelligence. I make a comment immediately stating how shes definitely better then I expected (still don't know if thats a compliment or not). Small chatter get to my house (once I was sure my nieces where on there way home... let them play but I want to keep tabs on them)... we headed to my house. I REALLY WISHED I had cleaned up. but yeah Delila buddy thing is okay until a point then it turns into a big problem and me and Alex have to take buddy home (which he wasn't willing to do very easily) but I'm having an unimaginably good time with Tabitha. So all in all were all up till 5AM. Highlights include finally playing Strip Poker (I FINALLY GOT TO PLAY STRIP POKER WITH THOSE PHYSICALLY ADEQUATE ENOUGH TO PLAY IT WITH YES!), Kings Cup, Babysitting Buddy & Delila and flirting with Tabitha. So I've given her my number and really hope for a call buck... this girl is easily a 9 and imo probably a 10 fun, playful, attitude, intelligence... things I look for and enjoy... but I can be obtrusive sometimes... so I probably scared her away.
Saturday: any rate I get woken up at 6 am (sleep count is up to 3 maybe 4 hrs total now). She's getting worse. I go to the hospital say my goodbye (In her shoes I'd think she would want someone there but not everyone so everyone was there and I decided I just didn't want to be part of that crowd) it consists of I love you grandpa is waiting for you (which I hope is true for her). And I come back home. This might sound like an ass hole thing but I'm not going to watch her die and I'm not sad for her either... it's keeping me sane thinking she's at peace... the very second I really start to think about her being gone I'll lose it but for now I'm closing that one off. I spend the next 3 hrs sleeping and then wake up and start hanging out with Tabitha some more (obtrusive moment here I should have let her sleep but couldn't help my self). Then Delila pulls a GK Mother Hen moment. But all is well. They head out about noonish. Grandma Dies at 1:30 and we are having a graveside service on Wed. (I wonder if they actually asked for it not to be on Tue.). Call Jeff tell him he decides to have drinking thing here... back to back... but I'm not doing anything heavy... I have a pace and if I go above it I still try and keep control but (I'm proud to say) I kept my Pace... not to much just enough to be all there but just a little glazed over... I got another 3 hrs sleep (I need to get a good sleep Sunday night for health) totaling to maybe 7 before Shawn Gets here... this is a different (and imo much less entertaining party) drinking, beer bonging, prank phone calls, music, and video games. Ends off with a massive lack of sleep fun gathering at Denny's. Come home and its nappy time till about 11:30 and I've been sitting here writing this entire time... btw this party consisted of Jeff, Shawn, Josh, Wes, Tarrin (I probably miss spelt that but if its the only thing I'll consider it a small miracle)
Sunday: hoping for some kind of response from Tabitha, going to clean my house... lol... missing grandma... and thinking about playing a trick on Jeff while he's asleep... maybe "I drank last night" across his forehead...
Transported from my myspace (6-4-06)... and btw still no word from Tabitha... oh well better fish in the Sea...
Also had a metro breakdown and shaved my legs and armpits and other places people don't want to know about and trimmed other places
Went to my grandmas funeral and broke down not over my grandma but every one else who came to say goodbye... that meant a lot to me...
I'm getting lazy here... I need a job... so at some point during this week I shall be doing something about this...
My grandma died yesterday. She was someone I cared for more than anyone else. I also (just like everyone else in my family) have been neglecting her. I'm not sad though... I find myself at ease knowing she isnt suffering anymore. I was much sadder at her suffering life then at peace in death...
As for my recollection of events:
Thursday: We find out there going to be pulling out the tube on my grandma... she's probably going to die. Sam and I (lol) are in San Diego with Brandon. We head home ASAP and I spend the night by grandma's side. I think this is the point where I accepted her death, and 2 hrs of sleep.
Friday: They take the tube out of her and shes doing as well as expected (living odds 5%) I get a ride from my mother (my cars still not fixed but getting there) home from the hospital and sit here doing nothing all day (I wish with my mighty hindsight that nothing would have been cleaning the house instead). Mom gets me later and Sam decides he's going to stay the night with her. I persuade my mother for use of her car (I swear I just wanted to go out hang out and get my mind off things). I go by Starschmucks and no ones really there Robert is but he looked amused with someone else so I left him alone... besides I wanted enough people to keep attention at the time (Sorry Robert). So it's off to Blue2 where I see my nieces hanging out... I consider this a more questionable place for youngsters to hang out but none the less fun so I'm immediately freaked out but give in to the fact they're just kids there looking for fun. This leads to me and Sabrina playing a game of DDR and Spoon shows up and I'm trying to get some gaming with him because hes good. But he gets extra flakey... (And Sabrina and Krystal (nieces) run off to "talk to that cute guy" (I constantly find new moments to feel old in life...) SO... I'm ready to Give up when I see Alex talking to Destiny w/ Buddy close by and I walk over Alex and Buddy are scheming, and Alex mentions going somewhere and drinking... (I know this might sound like a depressed I need a beer moment but it really wasn't. It was more of okay its something to do). He says "do you know Tabitha?" and I say "Yeah..." and he says "not the one from PC..." which was a no so he says he's interested in hanging out with her... I'm not expecting much... the best description I've heard of Alex is "he's a 13 yr old boy who likes to use his penis and guitar". On scale I see Alex in actually looking for a girl and having a chance to come out to 7 out of 10 tops... not good but not at all bad either. So they scheme it as Alex and James meet the girls they all go back to James's and Alex "runs" into Buddy at the store... I know this is going to turn bad but the stupid person inside of me just wants something to do and really hopes for the best. Tabitha and Delila (remember scheming part) show up and I'm talking to my nieces... I'm floored by Tabitha... first I'm thinking whoa super hottie but she's just another Caitlin... then she talks and spews forth intelligence. I make a comment immediately stating how shes definitely better then I expected (still don't know if thats a compliment or not). Small chatter get to my house (once I was sure my nieces where on there way home... let them play but I want to keep tabs on them)... we headed to my house. I REALLY WISHED I had cleaned up. but yeah Delila buddy thing is okay until a point then it turns into a big problem and me and Alex have to take buddy home (which he wasn't willing to do very easily) but I'm having an unimaginably good time with Tabitha. So all in all were all up till 5AM. Highlights include finally playing Strip Poker (I FINALLY GOT TO PLAY STRIP POKER WITH THOSE PHYSICALLY ADEQUATE ENOUGH TO PLAY IT WITH YES!), Kings Cup, Babysitting Buddy & Delila and flirting with Tabitha. So I've given her my number and really hope for a call buck... this girl is easily a 9 and imo probably a 10 fun, playful, attitude, intelligence... things I look for and enjoy... but I can be obtrusive sometimes... so I probably scared her away.
Saturday: any rate I get woken up at 6 am (sleep count is up to 3 maybe 4 hrs total now). She's getting worse. I go to the hospital say my goodbye (In her shoes I'd think she would want someone there but not everyone so everyone was there and I decided I just didn't want to be part of that crowd) it consists of I love you grandpa is waiting for you (which I hope is true for her). And I come back home. This might sound like an ass hole thing but I'm not going to watch her die and I'm not sad for her either... it's keeping me sane thinking she's at peace... the very second I really start to think about her being gone I'll lose it but for now I'm closing that one off. I spend the next 3 hrs sleeping and then wake up and start hanging out with Tabitha some more (obtrusive moment here I should have let her sleep but couldn't help my self). Then Delila pulls a GK Mother Hen moment. But all is well. They head out about noonish. Grandma Dies at 1:30 and we are having a graveside service on Wed. (I wonder if they actually asked for it not to be on Tue.). Call Jeff tell him he decides to have drinking thing here... back to back... but I'm not doing anything heavy... I have a pace and if I go above it I still try and keep control but (I'm proud to say) I kept my Pace... not to much just enough to be all there but just a little glazed over... I got another 3 hrs sleep (I need to get a good sleep Sunday night for health) totaling to maybe 7 before Shawn Gets here... this is a different (and imo much less entertaining party) drinking, beer bonging, prank phone calls, music, and video games. Ends off with a massive lack of sleep fun gathering at Denny's. Come home and its nappy time till about 11:30 and I've been sitting here writing this entire time... btw this party consisted of Jeff, Shawn, Josh, Wes, Tarrin (I probably miss spelt that but if its the only thing I'll consider it a small miracle)
Sunday: hoping for some kind of response from Tabitha, going to clean my house... lol... missing grandma... and thinking about playing a trick on Jeff while he's asleep... maybe "I drank last night" across his forehead...
Transported from my myspace (6-4-06)... and btw still no word from Tabitha... oh well better fish in the Sea...
Also had a metro breakdown and shaved my legs and armpits and other places people don't want to know about and trimmed other places
Went to my grandmas funeral and broke down not over my grandma but every one else who came to say goodbye... that meant a lot to me...