Its about a girl.
No actually let me rephrase that.
Its about " The Girl ".
You know all that bullshit that Hollywood wants you to believe in. So they can make millions on RomComs, starring the likes of Jennifer Anniston and Vince Vaughan.
Needless to say I am not a prescriber to this way of thinking. The thinking that they will tell me there is some one for everyone in one breath.
Then turn around and tell me that there are plenty of fish in the sea, in the next.
Despite all my apparent disdain at this, I want to believe in it.
I want to believe in her.......
In " The Girl ". I met her, I love her, She cut my heart out and took it with her.
It is true what they say you know, that if you never love then you can never truly be hurt.
Some fool once said "that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all".
What an asshole.
Like all great stories, there isn't really an end. I would love a happy ending (Not in a Thai massage type of way), but life is not always like that.
But there is a beginning and I will get there in due time.
At this point we are joining our hero/fool at possibly the middle of the story, most likely close to the written ending.
Chronologically we are about 3 months into this, what ever this is now?
Customarily now that I have hooked the reader with a catchy first line, (I hope) it is time to introduce the characters.
So I will start with the hero/fool of this drama.
Lets call me Karl, it fits as this is my name.
I have loved before, I have even been loved in return a time or two.
Looking back these experience seem shallow now, some where deeper than others.
But I guess I never really committed, I never gave them my all or even offered.
There are parts of me that I don't think people would like.
There are parts of me that are mine, that I would never want to share because I am selfish.
So I hear you musing "oh that Karl, he has been through this before, what's he carry on about it for, he'll get over it".
This is why I believe in " The Girl ".
Her Mother once called her " My Girl " I loved the sound of that.
I shared everything with her, I showed her the person in me that no one would like.
She still loved me.
I want to give her the world.
Her name is Priya.
We knew each other once before.
She stalked me at work, we went on a couple of dates.
I slept with her once, not sexually.
She took a sleeping tablet and I lay in bed with her feeling awkward and confused.
Just waiting for morning so that I could leave as I felt un-welcomed.
I watched her sleep though, she has always been beautiful.
As you can obviously guess things were not going to well, plus she made me go and watch that horrible movie, Baz Luhrmanns Australia.
We parted ways soon after but I never really stopped liking her.
We grew apart, I guess it's hard to be friends with some one that you like.
She fell in love with some one else.
She got pregnant and gave birth to a beautiful daughter called Abby.
She wanted that person to be everything to her, but as you can see things are never that simple.
She separated from that some one else just after this time.
Nine months later she started stalking me again.
At that time I was in a long distance relationship.
Which had gone on too long and there was too much distance, not just in kilometers but in our pairing.
It is something that I should have ended a long time before but I didn't want to hurt any one.
I regret this decision, I should have ended the relationship when Priya and I started to see each other.
I am ashamed that Priya had to hide her happiness so as not to hurt someone else.
I am always the fool.
So when Priya sent me a message on facebook I sent her my number and we began to text.
Priya told me that she was stalking me and I was happy that she was.
We meet for coffee and I meet Abby for the first time.
I liked Abby right from the start.
Priya was as beautiful as always, she was wearing wedge shoes and she had trouble walking up stairs with them.
I made a comment about this and she stopped wearing these shoes because she thought I didn't like them.
She was kind of right about that, but it was nice that some one listened to me and remembered the things I said.
Priya is damaged goods, we all are. We all carry the scars that life has given us.
The baggage of the people we knew before and the things that they have done to us.
Some how this has made her perfect, that strength that has carried her through all of this makes her glow.
It makes me weak for her.
She has a hard casing that protects her from the world.
But she let me see beyond that and there is an innocence to her that melts me.
The first kiss.
Priya stalked me to a halloween party. she had an old boyfriend ( Not the Ex Boyfriend ) drive her.
She is so damn cool.
She dressed as a prisoner and she was all boobs and sex appeal.
I drank to excess because I was nervous that she was there.
She asked me to dance and I don't dance but I danced with her.
We kissed as we pretended that we could dance.
She whispered in my ear that she missed sex.
Sex would have been easy, what came after was not.
She left and I blacked out and she texted me while I slept.
Not really a fairy tale beginning is it?
But all stories have to start somewhere.
The First date.
We had dinner, she said I should chose the place.
She left Abby with her Grandparent's and drove a great distance.
I know it was great because I got lost going out there.
We got on so well, even though there was a fuck up with our food.
She paid (Even though I thought we were doing a runner).
She was great company and I wanted more.
I could tell you every little detail.
But I won't. I will just skim through some of the memories.
Like the night after the halloween party when we went to a neighbors house.
I met a guy who was with a girl who had a one year old from another relationship when they, they were happy.
He convinced me it was possible, I was nervous about dating someone with a kid.
I would thank him because it gave me three great months.
We laughed the next morning when he drove past us and said "Morning Guys".
We had a lot of laughs Priya and I.
We made jokes about our neighbors, we laughed at things no one else would understand.
It was like we had our own world.
She tasted sweet and I could not get enough of her.
She hated to be kissed and she didn't like much to be touched.
But she made an effort for me and I loved her even more for it.
I loved when she gave me my christmas present and she gave me that super cute smile.
I loved it when she would shake her head when she didn't want do something.... But she really did.
I loved the day that I said I was hungry and she ordered me pizza off of her phone.
I loved when she said good boy when I did something that made her happy.
A million little memories of happy moments.
I loved coming home to her, just to see her after work filled me with joy.
She spoilt me, cooked me dinners.
I loved waking up next to her.
But she wasn't the only girl in this.
There was Abby her daughter.
I love that little girl, she is beautiful and engaging.
There is nothing that I would not do for either of these girls.
They made my apartment feel like a home instead of a place.
Nearly three months of bliss.
Then something changed.
This is about the time that this story is being written.
She says she needs time, I can understand that.
But my mind goes to dark places and I feel lost.
Food is tasteless and I never feel hungry anymore.
I don't really sleep, but I don't feel tired.
Its like I am the living dead, which makes sense because as I stated earlier she has my heart.
So what happened? What changed?
I don't know.
Did her ex get to her some how?
Did I do something wrong?
Priya told me that I loved her more than she loved me.
She didn't think that was fair to me.
But love is love, there are no rules saying that everyone is suppose to be on the same level at the same time.
The real statement here is that she loves me.
I wish I could tell her that we can slow things down if she wants.
I would do anything to make us work.
But I know at the end of the day she has to be happy and that is what I want for her.
No actually let me rephrase that.
Its about " The Girl ".
You know all that bullshit that Hollywood wants you to believe in. So they can make millions on RomComs, starring the likes of Jennifer Anniston and Vince Vaughan.
Needless to say I am not a prescriber to this way of thinking. The thinking that they will tell me there is some one for everyone in one breath.
Then turn around and tell me that there are plenty of fish in the sea, in the next.
Despite all my apparent disdain at this, I want to believe in it.
I want to believe in her.......
In " The Girl ". I met her, I love her, She cut my heart out and took it with her.
It is true what they say you know, that if you never love then you can never truly be hurt.
Some fool once said "that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all".
What an asshole.
Like all great stories, there isn't really an end. I would love a happy ending (Not in a Thai massage type of way), but life is not always like that.
But there is a beginning and I will get there in due time.
At this point we are joining our hero/fool at possibly the middle of the story, most likely close to the written ending.
Chronologically we are about 3 months into this, what ever this is now?
Customarily now that I have hooked the reader with a catchy first line, (I hope) it is time to introduce the characters.
So I will start with the hero/fool of this drama.
Lets call me Karl, it fits as this is my name.
I have loved before, I have even been loved in return a time or two.
Looking back these experience seem shallow now, some where deeper than others.
But I guess I never really committed, I never gave them my all or even offered.
There are parts of me that I don't think people would like.
There are parts of me that are mine, that I would never want to share because I am selfish.
So I hear you musing "oh that Karl, he has been through this before, what's he carry on about it for, he'll get over it".
This is why I believe in " The Girl ".
Her Mother once called her " My Girl " I loved the sound of that.
I shared everything with her, I showed her the person in me that no one would like.
She still loved me.
I want to give her the world.
Her name is Priya.
We knew each other once before.
She stalked me at work, we went on a couple of dates.
I slept with her once, not sexually.
She took a sleeping tablet and I lay in bed with her feeling awkward and confused.
Just waiting for morning so that I could leave as I felt un-welcomed.
I watched her sleep though, she has always been beautiful.
As you can obviously guess things were not going to well, plus she made me go and watch that horrible movie, Baz Luhrmanns Australia.
We parted ways soon after but I never really stopped liking her.
We grew apart, I guess it's hard to be friends with some one that you like.
She fell in love with some one else.
She got pregnant and gave birth to a beautiful daughter called Abby.
She wanted that person to be everything to her, but as you can see things are never that simple.
She separated from that some one else just after this time.
Nine months later she started stalking me again.
At that time I was in a long distance relationship.
Which had gone on too long and there was too much distance, not just in kilometers but in our pairing.
It is something that I should have ended a long time before but I didn't want to hurt any one.
I regret this decision, I should have ended the relationship when Priya and I started to see each other.
I am ashamed that Priya had to hide her happiness so as not to hurt someone else.
I am always the fool.
So when Priya sent me a message on facebook I sent her my number and we began to text.
Priya told me that she was stalking me and I was happy that she was.
We meet for coffee and I meet Abby for the first time.
I liked Abby right from the start.
Priya was as beautiful as always, she was wearing wedge shoes and she had trouble walking up stairs with them.
I made a comment about this and she stopped wearing these shoes because she thought I didn't like them.
She was kind of right about that, but it was nice that some one listened to me and remembered the things I said.
Priya is damaged goods, we all are. We all carry the scars that life has given us.
The baggage of the people we knew before and the things that they have done to us.
Some how this has made her perfect, that strength that has carried her through all of this makes her glow.
It makes me weak for her.
She has a hard casing that protects her from the world.
But she let me see beyond that and there is an innocence to her that melts me.
The first kiss.
Priya stalked me to a halloween party. she had an old boyfriend ( Not the Ex Boyfriend ) drive her.
She is so damn cool.
She dressed as a prisoner and she was all boobs and sex appeal.
I drank to excess because I was nervous that she was there.
She asked me to dance and I don't dance but I danced with her.
We kissed as we pretended that we could dance.
She whispered in my ear that she missed sex.
Sex would have been easy, what came after was not.
She left and I blacked out and she texted me while I slept.
Not really a fairy tale beginning is it?
But all stories have to start somewhere.
The First date.
We had dinner, she said I should chose the place.
She left Abby with her Grandparent's and drove a great distance.
I know it was great because I got lost going out there.
We got on so well, even though there was a fuck up with our food.
She paid (Even though I thought we were doing a runner).
She was great company and I wanted more.
I could tell you every little detail.
But I won't. I will just skim through some of the memories.
Like the night after the halloween party when we went to a neighbors house.
I met a guy who was with a girl who had a one year old from another relationship when they, they were happy.
He convinced me it was possible, I was nervous about dating someone with a kid.
I would thank him because it gave me three great months.
We laughed the next morning when he drove past us and said "Morning Guys".
We had a lot of laughs Priya and I.
We made jokes about our neighbors, we laughed at things no one else would understand.
It was like we had our own world.
She tasted sweet and I could not get enough of her.
She hated to be kissed and she didn't like much to be touched.
But she made an effort for me and I loved her even more for it.
I loved when she gave me my christmas present and she gave me that super cute smile.
I loved it when she would shake her head when she didn't want do something.... But she really did.
I loved the day that I said I was hungry and she ordered me pizza off of her phone.
I loved when she said good boy when I did something that made her happy.
A million little memories of happy moments.
I loved coming home to her, just to see her after work filled me with joy.
She spoilt me, cooked me dinners.
I loved waking up next to her.
But she wasn't the only girl in this.
There was Abby her daughter.
I love that little girl, she is beautiful and engaging.
There is nothing that I would not do for either of these girls.
They made my apartment feel like a home instead of a place.
Nearly three months of bliss.
Then something changed.
This is about the time that this story is being written.
She says she needs time, I can understand that.
But my mind goes to dark places and I feel lost.
Food is tasteless and I never feel hungry anymore.
I don't really sleep, but I don't feel tired.
Its like I am the living dead, which makes sense because as I stated earlier she has my heart.
So what happened? What changed?
I don't know.
Did her ex get to her some how?
Did I do something wrong?
Priya told me that I loved her more than she loved me.
She didn't think that was fair to me.
But love is love, there are no rules saying that everyone is suppose to be on the same level at the same time.
The real statement here is that she loves me.
I wish I could tell her that we can slow things down if she wants.
I would do anything to make us work.
But I know at the end of the day she has to be happy and that is what I want for her.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
Probably a night out is in order.