I think we both know only you can answer any of those questions. Sometimes though, you need to step back to get the perspective neccesary. You probably need some time to yourself to work it all out in your head. Just a thought.

Having little to no experience in the department that is plaguing you at the moment I'm not sure what exactly I could say that would offer much comfort.

If your crotches have been holding hands then that's a relationship thing, unless the other party merely sees it as a casual physical connection. If it's over then shit can get relatively shiny again, but not how it once was. Which isn't all bad, really, just different. I'm not sure what you want, and sometimes I'm not even sure you know so just roll with it for the time being.

Discs in the mail, finally.

Go have a drink with ampersand tomorrow night and all shall be well in the world for at least an evening.

Strange week indeed.

I've been waiting to find the right words to reply to this entry, but even in the bright, shiny newness that is Spring - I still have nothing.

In the last seven days my entire world has turned upside down, but I'd be lying if I said it was all a shock.

The questions you've asked are all ones I've had to think about. Some by choice and some not.
I have a million questions and I doubt some of them will ever get answered - but you've got to ask right?

This is coming out much more babble-ished than I'd hoped.
For that I'm sorry and I'm also sorry to hear your confused. Matters of the heart seem to get too messy....

The short reply: Put your heart out there. Talk about what you're feeling. Forget tip-toeing around stuff and just say it. Act on it.

Hoping that by the time you read this you're in a better head space and things are looking less tarnished and more shiny.

Oh dear I only just saw your comment about impromptu meet last night. Too bad I missed it, I really do want to meet you guys eventually.
I'll probably be at poser central tonight, if you're out and about and see me come say hi!

In case you somehow didn't work it out, poser central AKA the wanker club is amplifier.

Take care sorting out your relationship troubles. I hope you come to the right conclusions. xx

elo!

Oh dear!! Well, I missed the happy episode so have jumped straight into the sad confused evil-ness that is question-ing everything.

Maybe what you need is space from everything, to work out what it is that you want. Maybe just take a day out, go to a place you love by yourself (I picture you on the top of a cliff/shelf thing by the beach, with wind through your hair, and possibly an Ipod with Dummy or To Bring You My Love playing, or with the EP from Love Outside Andromeda, all of which I personally believe are the best reflective music EVER!!), with paper and a pen, and write out a letter to each of your loved ones, saying everything that comes into your head. It doesn't have to make sense, you don't need to censor it so that they don't get hurt or upset by the words you use, or the feelings you're conveying, and just write. I've done this a couple of times over the years and found that when I read it back, there was a whole lot of stuff that I wrote down that I really didn't think was that important. Hey, when I thought it and felt it, it seemed important, but when I read it back and thought about it, I found that a lot of it wasn't as important as the other things that I DID have.

And once you've worked out what it is that you want, then you write a letter to yourself telling you what you want, or a list of things that you really truly value. Then you just need to look at your current relationship and see whether you have those things. If you do, then you probably are just wanting to re-live a memory... and they're almost never the same as you remember when they eventuate. If you don't, can that be changed? Will being with this other person change it? Is it really YOU that needs to change? Can you change to have what you want?

I don't know if that was helpful to you, but it has been incredibly helpful to me in the past and, well, right now, actually, because I have faced a couple of bullshit moments over the last month when I've thought... wait, this isn't the way I want to be treated, this isn't what I want, should I leave again? And then realised that, well, not everything's perfect all the time... anyway.

Shiny-ness is good. And I want to see this girl below ALWAYS - she looks so damn beautiful!!