mirima

So, last night after a very tough and intense discussion with Andy, he broke up with me. I wish I could say it was a mutual decision...and we both didn't want to do it, but after thinking about it a little, I'm not mad. I agree it was probably the best decision all around. I mean, the relationship was making me crazy for different reasons, and when I was depressed it was putting strain on the relationship, and we clashed in not so pleasant ways. However, I am going to miss it, and miss being with him in that way. I loved being with him. He was the most significant partner I've had since my ex. He was a huge part of my life.

Now, this means I've broken up with one partner, and been dumped by another partner in the same week. It's been a very hard week. Between being violated by my ex girlfriend and her master, battling internal issues, going back to bad habits, and losing someone I care about very deeply, it's been a very very rough week. I'm fucking done with all this nonsense and drama. I wish I could just curl up and forget about it all. Hide away from the scary scary world.

I am proud of myself for facing it though. I'm not sure how well I faced it, but I did face it. And things happened the way they should have, I think. I think that most of the decisions made this past week, by either me or someone else, were good decisions. I keep having to tell myself that as to not go crazy. I am nursing some pretty serious hurts. It's a good thing I'm with one of my bestest friends and both of my other partners. They've been so kind and gentle with me. Although, Andy has been very kind and gentle with me as well. Even after we broke up last night, we still went to contra for a little while, and then he took me out for dinner. It was nice, but I couldn't stop crying. Today has definitely been better. Besides, I got some sexy times, some much needed sexy times, and that has helped a great deal.

Anyway, you know what I could really use right now? Some awesome support from my friends on here. Oh, and it wouldn't hurt to get more testimonials...I love testimonials!