Wow, chin up soldier! I can totally see your point and frustration. I figure if they can't accept you as a family member then they should be ashamed.
Thats a lot to put a person through and it was mean and selfish of them when all you ask for is respect back from helping them and taking time out of your own life to do it.
Not to mention it affects your family all together.
Don't go out of your way for them but maybe don't totally disregard her. You know what its like to be there and maybe showing them that your definitely stronger and better than what they think of you could go a long way.
Kill them with kindness and a big smile, it works every time!
good god, youve certainly landed in it, but you seemed to have kept your cool, i wouldnt, i am irish, when he mentioned hitler, that"s when id tell him to go fuck himself, etc etc. if you wanted to keep your father"s ashes that"s your business, i find it different, but he"s your father, i can respect that. if you werent wanted and they were talking shit about you behind your back, you should just leave. the mexican thing not racist at all. look to make a short story short lfe is too short, to put up with that crap.
I have to agree with Honor; holy cow! I have to ask though what breed of husband lets his bro shit on his wife. If he was trying to get rid of you, showing no interest in defending you is understandable but what the hell? Good for him you're German and not Italian as he would have had his ass kicked. Then again, Im Mexican and we have different cultures and values (1/5 German so I hear the Hitler thing) so maybe cultural differences come into play but none the less thats ridiculous. And then to lock you out so you had no respite or escape is IMHO unforgivable.
As for the new girl, sorry for her but stay out of it, don't involve yourself in that family anymore that what's strictly required of you. You have to see they just aren't good for you. Not only are they vicious people with no regard who their tongues lash, they are bad for your well being as well. You don't need that aggravation, stress and negativity in your life.
i wouldn't change who i was to satisfy anyone's family. Haven't in the past, won't in the future. If you feel like you should send something, do it. If you don't feel like you should send something, don't. But don't do it to make someone else happy or unhappy, do it because it is what you want to do.
they don't treat you LIKE family, they're not really family. If you want to reach out to the "new girl", that seems understandable. but the rest are pricks.
"His ancestors decimated Native American lands and if there is any truth to curses I would say it has been brought upon them."
I supposedly have some Indian ancestors. and they say "Take THAT, honkies!"
Obviously it sounds like his family is beyond awful. Obviously, you are not. So, I would try to rise above everything that happened to you and realize that you feeling this guilt isn't helping any one. Or penalizing your sister in law for something she wasn't involved in. I don't know, even if it back fired, my guilt would probably get the better of me (even if that's not the most healthy way for things to transpire) and I would do something to make things better for HER. Fuck the brother. If anything give her a gift card to a spa or something. Something that can ONLY be for her and of no benefit to him. That's what I would do anyway, but I also have an issue with constantly taking care of people even if it's at an emotional expense to myself.
Not sure what else to say. You're an intelligent and wonderful woman. Either way I'm confident you will make the right decision for yourself.
Thats a lot to put a person through and it was mean and selfish of them when all you ask for is respect back from helping them and taking time out of your own life to do it.
Not to mention it affects your family all together.
Don't go out of your way for them but maybe don't totally disregard her. You know what its like to be there and maybe showing them that your definitely stronger and better than what they think of you could go a long way.
Kill them with kindness and a big smile, it works every time!