yep but it still has this strange energy that draws me, like millions of others, towards it, as it contains so many magical things, even the occasional magical person

and yorkie seems to have some good advice on the relationship, its what i usualy tell my friends

i can visit london, and when im fit again and cycling ill hapliy visit and use a bike as my mode of transport, but i couldnt live, work or drive there. id go insane. its such a big dirty lifless hellhole with some of the most ignorant people ive ever met. the only decent people ive met there are all from this site

If you think it's a good reason, it's a good reason .

My solution?

I kick myself in the butt (figuratively) and just go forth and do.

Sometimes it even works.

I should point out I've been working out the bugs in this method for atleast 20 years, and I'm still 50/50 with it at best. I based it on the people I worked best with and how they got me motivated when I got down. Not sayin' it's the best way but it works some, which is better than not working at all.

it's also how I get thru a writers-block thingie - just start writing . better odds with that btw - it works somewhere between 75 and 90 percent of the time .

Anyway, the best thing is just to go forth and do - it generates selfconfidence just because you're moving forward.

Hm. I think I transgressed one of my SG (and life) rules - never give advice. Anyway, I'll leave it for you to ignore or use whatever parts you see fit .

It's been a good weekend even tho I skipped the labor part, which was really bad.

Hugggs! BTW, I'm jealous - I'd love to get a job as a writer ...

[Edited on Sep 05, 2005 11:24PM]

aww honey, i read your entry late last night but i was too tired to remember my password and log in to write you a comment.

wow, i'm shocked and very sorry you and dave are over. if you've got any doubts at all - i mean, real ones that stay with you for longer than a few moments when you're drunk and off your face - then it's probably best to end things. i think you just know when you're meant to be with someone and it's not like you haven't given the relationship time. hopefully you can remain close friends and keep in touch because he seems lovely, but if you're not attracted to him anymore then you shouldn't make yourself be with him.

with your friend i would say, go for it with the view that it might work out well or it might not but make sure he knows you've just finished a long-term relationship and aren't necessarily looking for a commitment. assuming that you're not, of course, because it might be a bad idea to jump straight into something. you could see how it goes, being careful and taking things slow so if it doesn't feel right then you can stop and go back to being friends again. i suppose if he's one of your best friends then he's probably aware of all this anyway, but just make sure he is.

how much spare money have you got at the moment? because if you're earning enough to pay the rent, bills and food and still have some left then you should definitely go and see your friends at the weekend. i understand that brighton is a bit faraway but the petrol to drive to stoke and back shouldn't cost too much. otherwise maybe you could get the train to liverpool or manchester because i'm sure they're more interesting than chester. i'm looking for a job and would love to come and visit you sometime. once i've got some money i'm going to book the trains.

if you have to live in chester for another five months then i suppose you'll have to stick at the newspaper and just do your best. you'll get more confident as you get used to it. perhaps you could move once you're free from your housing contract and do another six months at another paper somewhere completely different, which will look okay on your cv because it shows you've got varied experience. if you're still worried then at least move to a nicer place and commute a bit further to finish the year at your paper.

i'm not any good at giving advice.

love and kitties, xxxx

ps. thankyou so much for the birthday package!!!! you must know me really well. i meant to thank you sooner but i've been away at alton towers, reading festival and now i'm busy getting ready for college again.

i love watching 'ordinary people' go about their lives. its afavourite past time when im in a foreign city. just find a small cafe or bar and sit near te window and watch everyone doing what they do and ignoring everyone else, its truely facinating

as for that dude ill try to pay him a visit as im back in london for a weekend at the end of the month, with lots of free time on the saturday, so it will make that day a lil more interesting instead of just milling around camden or soho then meeting up with people for a few drinks in the evening

Tanks - hugs are good motivators too, even virtual ones .

I'll be honest, the first time I saw GitS I had no freakin' idea WHAT was going on - but I read about it and just sorta life in general passed by and now its like - oh yeah!

If they didn't lift whole parts of 'Ghost in the Shell' (right down to some of the visual moves) to graft into "the matrix" I'm a a total idiot. And I got news forya - I'm not . Just like they lifted big chunks of Dragon Ball Z and any number of mecha 'toons for the 3rd one (and a bit of King Arthur too) . Then again, thats why I liked the 3rd Matrix movie - it was like a giant live action Anime movie .

Don't get me wrong, I laughed at ALOT of it ("Trinity you can't die! - Yes I can!!" LOL) but it was still alot of fun .

thats more than my imagination wants to consieve

i do it quite a bit in manchester when i have spare time, just sit in an area with a paper and my walkman and watch the world go by over hte top of the papre

Well, I suspect the directors/producers wouldn't appreciate the fact I thought they were f'n hilarious, but y'know - I never look at things QUITE the way I'm s'posta...

I will say that at the 3rd one there was one person that was bursting out in laughter throughout most of the movie, and that was me , when I wasn't counting all the things they'd ripped off from other movies or cataloging all the stupid things they did (I loved the scene of them pounding black powder into a rocket they were gonna launch at a giant metal digging digging - ROFLMAO) I was just tickled by the stupid dialog. but I'm repeating myself .

Just outa curiosity, did you ever notice they gave away the bad guy in the poster for the first matrix movie?

I was thinking today - if you were gonna cast a live-action Dragonball Z movie - wouldn't you just haveta cast Keanu Reeves as Goku? He's already got the stupid goodguy thing AND the kung-fu on a wire thing down pat.... Maybe we can cast Sandra Bullock as Chi Chi and have a Speed reunion while we're at it.

Be nice if we could cast Carrie-Anne - maybe as Bulma? to bad there isn't a bad-ass girl fighter? I'd love to cast Joe Peschi as Vegeta but he's probably to old, so so maybe Hugo Weaving?

Anyway, the mind boggles ....

BTW, I've been practicing my "get my ass up and go" moves - been alittle less-then-stellar of late but so far it's working .

[Edited on Sep 08, 2005 8:45PM]

lol - ok, maybe I'll keep it - altho right now I'm leaning towards Miroku - a dirty minded monk has a certain appeal to me

They do keep talking about a live action DBZ movie, but I doubt they'd get the budget to hire any of those people - but it'd be kinda cool if they did

Maybe they can get Jet Li? and Jackie Chan for Master Roshi - that'd be too funny.

OMG!! Sweetie I hope your ok!!!!! *BIG HUGS* It may seem like your a million miles from anywhere at the moment, but we're all here for you!! Chester isn't so far away, so if you fancy a visitor then let me know, plus your always welcome here anytime Sorry to hear about you and Dave, but if you felt like things were fizzling out between the both of you then it sounds like you made the right decision Just remember I'm here for you sweetie, and like i said earlier if you fancy a visitor or you want to come back here - your very welcome

First order of business:

**HUGGG!!**

Just cuz I can .

I'm glad you like it it makes me feel better that you think it's atleast not totally lame .

Hey, I make movies in my head all the time - I've even started writing afew of them down, altho I've never written ALL of one of them down . That's the whole "fear of commitment" thing, I guess .

Hello you!! Are you coming down friday..????

hello im about friday night for a wee bit - let meknowif you wanna meet up for a drinky you have my number dont u ??!!!!

thanks I could use a good hug (virtual or not) today...

You SHOULD write them down tho - lord knows that there's enough stuff being made that almost anybody could do better than you MIGHT have a shot at becoming atleast somewhat better off .

I mean, how many times do we NEED some of those movies to be made/remade - like all those TV show movies, ferinstance.

[Edited on Sep 23, 2005 10:16PM]