It's amazing isn't it how one thing, an event, or person, hell both can really change your perspective on things. If you're a guy, especially a woman.
Now this particular woman isn't really new to my life. I've known her for years, this is however the first time that we've been single at the same time. It's strange, I've always though of her as a attractive woman, and she certainly has a powerful presence. I never thought however that she would have thought of me as much more than just another guy friend.
Christmas however changed all of that.
I don't care for Christmas. Years of working retail, the loss of my father, and the dislike of most of my extended family have me only putting up a tree because my son still expects it. Not that he still believes in Santa at age 14, it's just something he's used to seeing. For me Christmas tends to be just another day on the calender where almost everything is closed, and I'm a little more lonely than usual. Mary (that's her name) is in somewhat of a similar position, only she recently lost her grandmother who practically raised her while her parents worked. Grief can do funny things to families, it can bring them closer together, sometimes it can drive wedges between them. Grief effects everyone differently and sometimes in the grip of your own grief it can be difficult if not impossible to understand how someone else is dealing with theirs.
So December 24th after a long and roundabout way of asking, I got her to come to the movies with me, it was a matinee and then we had some drinks after talking about just about everything including the rifts growing between her and her mom and sister over the loss. I gave her some good advice, taking high roads, trying to respect others grief, but not at the expense of her own, all things I've learned from years of therapy and grief counselling (that is an entirely different blog). She thought it was good advice and when attempting to put it into practice that night, and the next morning I guess it blew up in her face. I spent most of the night, on the phone, and since I was going to be alone after my son went home at one that afternoon we decided to meet again, for another movie, and dinner at a Thai place.
We talked more, I flirted a little more, she flirted back, but to be completely honest I didn't make a move because I lacked confidence in myself. The evening continued, we both had a great time, and even though I lacked confidence to make any kind of move and maybe a part of me was saying I wasn't going to take advantage of a grieving woman, whatever the reason we started texting more, snap chatting a little, and flirting more and more over the next couple of days.
Maybe it was the fact that it wasn't face to face conversations, or maybe it was her continued interest, but I got a little more bold with my flirting, conversations on the phone got a little more personal, and now I have plans for New Years Eve that may end my two and a half year drought of being single. Why? Will I actually get enough courage to make a move? I think so. The signals have gotten pretty obvious, even someone as out of practice as I am can figure it out. (For those just joining 2 and a half years single, 11 year relationship before that) Between conversations that included embarrassing sexual exploits, (From the time I woke up handcuffed naked to a bed to actually breaking one in the middle of sex) to do I prefer to be the dom or the sub, I think where this is going is pretty clear.
Now for the hard part. Getting the rest of my life in order.
At least one aspect may have been taken care of now.
And of course I can't forget the Nerd Humour!!!!!!
