your journal made me write. i sat on the floor and ignoring glares from the one that's doing all the work i need to get done around here, i wrote things with good intentions but they came out all wrong. presumptious, unpretty. but, you made me write. thank you.
It was great to see you today. I have not been swimming in the sea sense '97. Today was one of the best days i have had in a long time. Thank you. Now i sit, drink the last of a corona, i couldn't find any PBR. its 30 past midnight. soon i will climb into bed. pull my huge stuffed seal close, so i don't feel quite so alone. what are you up to tomorrow?
1st Q: waaaay too many hours. picked up a new job. AND doing someone else's job while she's on leave for 2 weeks. i hate offices. i haven't been sleeping well and i think i almost killed myself drinking this past weekend. couple that with 12 hour work days and well...waaaaaaaaaa. ok, that was good. i feel better.
2nd Q: that's a very good idea...hmmm. soon, very soon.
i promise i won't merge pics of you and me and make up fantasies in my had about our illustrious union.
One of my best friends, Patti, lost her mother a few years ago. The mother, suddenly, with no parentheses, at the very young age of 52. Patti is in her 30s, so this isn't a story about relating or shared experience to your specific story.
What bugged her, though, was that after her mother died, people were consoling; then, they went about their lives. As people do.
She would tell me it was hard, as she burst into tears at random over the next full year... maybe more... to tell anyone trying to console her or ask what was wrong... she would say it was hard, just trying to explain that her mother was still dead... and somehow not get that look of... "Oh, yeah... I already knew that... wasn't that a while back? Shouldn't you be okay now?"
What are you doing with your time now? Are you working? Schooling? Brooding? I'm sorry about your problem. I love few things as much as I love good slumber. This too shall pass. From what I gather you're a tough cookie. I'm still trying to learn to take pride in my ability to simply make it through the hard times, especially if I can do so with grace and aplomb. I'll wish for your sleep to be sound.
I lost my mom when I was ten..It sucks....
I went through a lot of shit like that when I was growing up...
Lately its been coming back....
I know you dont know me...
But If you want somewhere to talk theres a group...
ICBF
Sorry to take up your time...
Take care...
Hi. I just wandered in here from a comment you made in another thread.
That is quite the chain of events. It sounds very similar to what my wife Blossom goes through sometimes. She seems to have similar triggers. Her Dad dies too soon, she got herself kicked out of the house at 17, and is also afraid of the dark. She will wake up i the middle of the night with her heart just racing. I have a lot of sympathy for what you are going through.
Was there something that happened recently that you think may have triggered the return of your problem?
may the light of a thousand thousand fireflies light your way when you go to pee in the bushes in your backyard from drinking too much gin.
i guess i am working a bit too hard.
one more 12 hour day, a few hours sleep, then its off for a 400 mile trip to West Virginia for another hiking trip. i promise to get you a pic of a salamander this time if i see one again...
i would so throw myself at the zombies and go down fighting like a madcat just so you could run away and live another night to drink some gin.
i have no reason to drink so much. i just do. somehow that's worse.
i wish there was something i could do.
y
-pb