um...just to let you know your hair is so rad.

gross gross gross! you met a girl. i hate it when men meet girls and blah about how great it is and how happy they are.

i hate it.

why cant you all be miserible and alone like me?

why am i the only person in the world who is a tragedy masquerading as a comedy? hmm?

puke puke puke.

you must not listen to enough shellac. dont you know what is going to happen?

well, im trying to be happy for you, but it is so hard because you are too gosh darn cute to be meeting girls.

i think snails are hermaphrodites but ive never asked one. it doesnt seem like polite conversation.

and please, for my own peace of mind, dont be going and falling in love.

because love is a gate way drug to morgage (which is from the latin meaning "death grip". think about it) xxxx

You know Eddie?????

Yep that sounds like something he'd say alright

Do be too preturbed I am sure you have that effect on a lot of people

It would be good to see you at one of our gigs sometime, I will keep a look out for you.

xx

Ooh, another friend... And a cute one too.
Whereabout in London are you? Ive been a few times and Camden Town was my Mecca.

no no no, 2 different guys

Wonderful!