lovechristina

Life has been crazy crazy crazy. It's times like these were I miss being bored and having nothing to worry about. I'm not complaining though (okay maybe I was just a little bit but I take it back) Things are way better now then they were last week. On Tuesday I forced him to see me. Things kind of exploded between us and he was hating me far more than was healthy for him I think. He poked around and found out that I slept with a friend after he broke up with me and it sent him on a rampage. And he can call me all the horrible names he wants but when he threatens to hurt himself...I dunno. It crossed a line with me and we had to have a face to face talk. I just basically told him that I care about him a lot and I would do a lot for him. And he forgave me and we kind of got back together. Okay not kind of. We are definitely back together. I think that's what's best for the situation. Best for him. And I owe him a lot. And I love him and want to be with him and I am willing to sacrifice my youth I guess. For him. For as long as I can....
I feel like now that's going to be even harder. Like it was "easy" to save myself for Levi and only Levi because I was pretty sure not many people wanted me. And that Levi was special and the best possible option I had based on what I could attract. Now...I dunno. I don't want to be vain or sound cocky or anything like that. But I kinda feel like I've kept a nice car in the garage for a long time not really knowing it's worth. And when I finally take it out for a spin...everybody wants a ride. Like not just the people who always want a ride...or even the people who I'd expect to...but like...a shocking amount and variety of people. And now I'm willingly putting my car back in the garage for god knows how long...strange analogy maybe. But that's how I feel I guess. It just makes things harder.
Bleh. I'm done blogging for now lol.