I went to a brunch celebrating my ex-girlfriend's birthday today.
It was disheartening.
It's not like I didn't know it would be, let's call it, emotionally "tenuous."
But I went anyway, because it's not like I have a whole lot of friends.
I can't just be willy nilly we're not going to hang out anymore because you don't want to sleep with me anymore.
Or kiss me.
Or hold hands.
Or what have you.
I went, because she asked, and realistically she's probably one of my best friends.
Anyhow, enough fucking backstory.
The new guy was there.
I didn't know this would be happening when she first asked, I found out a couple weeks ago, and honestly thought I'd be cool as a cucumber.
I was, to an extent, I made small talk, I laughed at jokes, I drank coffee and ate eggs.
I wore a dress shirt.
Classy.
And when I left she asked if I had a good time.
I said I did.
And as I walked to the car, I just wanted to cry, I wanted to yell at someone, really only having myself to blame.
I listened to what I now refer to as my break-up triumvirate: Modest Mouse, The Postal Service, and Rancid on the way home.
I felt better, slightly.
I talked to my roommate about the whole ordeal, and she sympathized.
Then I watched five episodes of the newsroom.
Because it's the best fucking show ever.
And now I guess this whole fucking yarn is backstory, because I'm re-embarking on my previous break-up quest from lo 8 months ago.
I'm improving myself, in all the ways I think are important.
-I'm losing weight. I don't own a scale for fear of not being able to use consumer products with a clear conscience, but I've lost fourish inches off my waist, and have gone down a tshirt size.
-I'm going back to school. Tuesday I start accounting classes.
-I'm becoming more worldly. I'm making a list of things I hear about on TV or the internet that I don't know enough about and sitting down to learn more about them.
-Lastly, and some would say most importantly, I am not seeking a new relationship. That was the mistake I made the second month of the breakup, and it made me feel awful. I am attempting to come to terms with spending a great deal of time alone.
That's what I've got for now internet, thanks for listening, and I hope you have a great night.
It was disheartening.
It's not like I didn't know it would be, let's call it, emotionally "tenuous."
But I went anyway, because it's not like I have a whole lot of friends.
I can't just be willy nilly we're not going to hang out anymore because you don't want to sleep with me anymore.
Or kiss me.
Or hold hands.
Or what have you.
I went, because she asked, and realistically she's probably one of my best friends.
Anyhow, enough fucking backstory.
The new guy was there.
I didn't know this would be happening when she first asked, I found out a couple weeks ago, and honestly thought I'd be cool as a cucumber.
I was, to an extent, I made small talk, I laughed at jokes, I drank coffee and ate eggs.
I wore a dress shirt.
Classy.
And when I left she asked if I had a good time.
I said I did.
And as I walked to the car, I just wanted to cry, I wanted to yell at someone, really only having myself to blame.
I listened to what I now refer to as my break-up triumvirate: Modest Mouse, The Postal Service, and Rancid on the way home.
I felt better, slightly.
I talked to my roommate about the whole ordeal, and she sympathized.
Then I watched five episodes of the newsroom.
Because it's the best fucking show ever.
And now I guess this whole fucking yarn is backstory, because I'm re-embarking on my previous break-up quest from lo 8 months ago.
I'm improving myself, in all the ways I think are important.
-I'm losing weight. I don't own a scale for fear of not being able to use consumer products with a clear conscience, but I've lost fourish inches off my waist, and have gone down a tshirt size.
-I'm going back to school. Tuesday I start accounting classes.
-I'm becoming more worldly. I'm making a list of things I hear about on TV or the internet that I don't know enough about and sitting down to learn more about them.
-Lastly, and some would say most importantly, I am not seeking a new relationship. That was the mistake I made the second month of the breakup, and it made me feel awful. I am attempting to come to terms with spending a great deal of time alone.
That's what I've got for now internet, thanks for listening, and I hope you have a great night.
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