Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

lightbulbjack

Island of Misfit Toys

Member Since 2003

Followers 16 Following 20

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Wednesday Mar 09, 2005

Mar 9, 2005
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
Busy busy busyso Ill leave you with this. I dont think Ive posted it here before.

Today was a long day at the pickle plantation. I was so board that I nearly slipped into a comma. But just when things looked worst, a three headed lemur came around passing out banana cream pies and silver underpants.

It was at the precise moment when my albino friend, Niles came to me and said, Jack, I have just met the most perfect women for you.

Now, if any other male friend came up to me and said that, my first question would be why is she perfect for me and not for you? Niles only dates other albinos, so he has me intrigued.

Really, I say as I slip into my new silver underpants.

Yes, yes. She is my second cousin twice removed and carried over once.

Ohhh, no, I said as I admired the way the underpants clung to my buttocks. The last perfect girl Niles set me up with collected pear clipart. In fact, she had nearly thirty two thousand pieces of clipart with pears. I know this because she showed me each piece on our first date. She was an all right kind of girl, but once I told her I was really more of an apple kind of guy, things just seemed to fall apart. You had better get your underpants on, the investors will be here any moment.

This wont be like the last one, I promise. My cousin has the most unique ability the you wont find in any other girl out there.

Ok, Ill bite. What makes this girl so special?

Her left nipple dispenses the world most tasty watermelon shooters.


Would you believe I wrote that in an Ambien drug haze? Good stuff I tell ya. wink

More Blogs

  • 08.23.05
    4

    Tuesday Aug 23, 2005

    My roommates mom died tonight, car accident. Sometimes words dont co…
  • 08.22.05
    3

    Monday Aug 22, 2005

    Im really not in a bad mood as far as my depression goes. Ive just be…
  • 08.19.05
    3

    Friday Aug 19, 2005

    Ok now before I get to today let me tell you about yesterday. I hit a…
  • 08.19.05
    2

    Friday Aug 19, 2005

    I almost got shot today. How was your day?
  • 08.18.05
    1

    Thursday Aug 18, 2005

    Beware of Jack
  • 08.17.05
    3

    Wednesday Aug 17, 2005

    I think I need to change my screen name to LazyBasterd, because I hav…
  • 08.15.05
    5

    Monday Aug 15, 2005

    Much many fun as had this past weekend in a variety of ways. I'll pos…
  • 08.11.05
    5

    Friday Aug 12, 2005

    I have a new addiction, Final Fantasy online. My roommate has been pl…
  • 08.09.05
    4

    Wednesday Aug 10, 2005

    You're the right kind of sinner to release my inner fantasies
  • 08.08.05
    4

    Monday Aug 08, 2005

    Tomorrow Im getting an hour-long massage and I cant wait. Just th…

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
9
months
29
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,596 SuicideGirls
  • 1,118,356 followers
  • 14,933,800 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,425,567 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo