So another new years eve, bored, alone, typical. Means another year has passed, which in some respects should be a good thing. However I'm on the fence with it. Not that this year has been an epic shitty year. 2010 was wy worse, but the fact that 2011 was not much better is humbling thought.
I lost my best friend in the world in 2010, the man who knew so much of me it was like we were inside each other's mind. I fell in love, lost him, slept around, got hooked, got clean but mostly got used.
2011 brought more feelings of inadequacy, desperation, loneliness. Mitch came into my life and slowly pieced together my broken heart, made me believe there was such a thing as soulmates, people who were absolutely and entirely meant to be together. I fell in love, I'm still in love, only I'm in love alone.
I discovered myself, how I really feel about my own beliefs, became more outspoken, proud and educated. I discovered my career path is as fulfilling as it gets. I discovered its you and you alone in this world and its tough and it hurts but you can do it.
I'm the only person probably not looking forward to 2012 because I know it will be another year without Mitch, but thinking about him, and imagining the life I know we could have, but he doesn't see it.
I want to marry him, I want to have the courage to ask him.
Its the one and only thing I'm afraid of, or maybe its the answer I'm afraid.
I lost my best friend in the world in 2010, the man who knew so much of me it was like we were inside each other's mind. I fell in love, lost him, slept around, got hooked, got clean but mostly got used.
2011 brought more feelings of inadequacy, desperation, loneliness. Mitch came into my life and slowly pieced together my broken heart, made me believe there was such a thing as soulmates, people who were absolutely and entirely meant to be together. I fell in love, I'm still in love, only I'm in love alone.
I discovered myself, how I really feel about my own beliefs, became more outspoken, proud and educated. I discovered my career path is as fulfilling as it gets. I discovered its you and you alone in this world and its tough and it hurts but you can do it.
I'm the only person probably not looking forward to 2012 because I know it will be another year without Mitch, but thinking about him, and imagining the life I know we could have, but he doesn't see it.
I want to marry him, I want to have the courage to ask him.
Its the one and only thing I'm afraid of, or maybe its the answer I'm afraid.
Could you pamper yourself tonight?
I used to get myself a little thing of sparkling wine, sushi and a cupcake. And just did whatever I wanted.
Felt like I was really focusing on me as I went into the new year.
Sounds like you have a good chance at a better year in 2012, based on your 2010 and 2011 description, and your 2011 self discoveries.