I am doin ok, but it's a test of my strength in so many ways.
If you ever need someone to vent to, just let me know. we're obviously local to each other.
I'm lovin this rain too

"How the hell do I change it?!?!?"

1. Stay away from that which is real but you know is wrong.

2. You need to start looking at yourself through the loving eyes you see other people with.

3. Stop trying to look away from what you feel. You feel different? Then you probably are.

4. Core beliefs can be wrong. And no matter how many times you try to convince yourself of something, if it's wrong, then it's a lie, and a lie never becomes real. Not too long ago, mankind believed the Earth was flat and shit.

5. You don't hate yourself, you're just confused and frustrated about something, so what you have to do is let it out.

I already told you most of the other things I had in mind. Either way, I'll be seeing you around, or at least I hope so. Love you

Im wishing you sooo much luck and positivity!!!! It'll give me something to focus on while im getting a wax lol...

Saturday - we are getting a photo, no posing, full body front on and then side on. It might give you something more visual from a different perspective.

The rain noises are so calming.

I should go back to throwing peanuts at my sister (her nickname is monkey)

Wheee - Berry!!!!!!!!!!!! awww - thats sweet I hate my teeth, but who can help smiling.... lol - the bf saw your pic where your smilling and you said that you thought u looked silly and he said that you didnt but that I did

I hope you feel more rested after that sleep. Maybe a factor to the ups and downs is that you have had pretty irregular sleep lately. Despite only needing a little - regularity may play a big part also.

*huggs - Will always be there if needed

And yeah- the violin being played crappily doesnt sound good....However i have my comp with decent enough speakers and drown her out with awesome music (which she hates)

how did i miss you all? i ran into an old friend and spent half the night catching up. but i was walking around in a red bandana on my head like i said i would.
but definitely next time, ill meet you all.

I sure hope you find what you need to feel better about yourself.

hope the job interview went well sweetie ( i know it did )

so this week its your turn for a downer huh, mine last week, so lets take bets on who it is next week

dont forget that youre gorgeous and a pleasure to be around, and your will power is absolutely amazing and an encouragement to so many people who know you

Thanks for posting in my journal.

I wish it would rain more here. However, Southern California is one of those places where you can have all 4 seasons, sometimes within minutes of each other. Yikes.

Sometimes it just helps to let go, whether it's via meditation or whatever it will take to silence the tapes, as I call them. The negative ones that just drone off into the background, utterly irrelevant.

I'm in agreement with the sausage lady , Human life does drive me crazy, so I occasionally get out and go somewhere, or just go outside and close my eyes, whatever.

I know how it feels to be confident on some levels but not on others. I can't change it by force, its a slow thing as far as I can tell. Don't keep retreating, accept the fact that right now you might feel a little contradictory, but just make sure there's always the possibility that the positive stuff is true. Its a yin-yang thing really

See, I'm not really a pessimist, though I'm probably just mildly stubborn.

Ta so much for your assistance in making my new name! I it!

interview>????????????????????
how did it go???????????????????????
i am so out of the loop, sorry i havent been on for ages!
hope you are ok!

Yeas! I love the sydney money saving piggie! Hes so colourfull...and yeah the twattles are cuties too.

Id gladly introduce you to my sister just so its not only me going off at her.

your necklace sounds pretty and shiny peacocks are very pretty....but they are kinda stupid. Our peacocks are only just now learning that kin is something that will chase them and not to come close no matter how curious they are. Peacocks are very curious animals - particularly peahens.

I need a job. I need to be skinny so then I can go get inked as well as have a holiday after a while of working