Hey peeps hope everything is well and your all doing well. Especially in this heat cause I haven’t. Been suffering a lot of heat exhaustion. Always fainting and falling asleep. Yeah I don’t handle the heat well, even though I do my best too. But I feel great physically, regardless of my few cases of heat exhaustion. If any of yous have a cure for it, let me know. I can use it lol.So this is to replace my weekly blog since I can’t do it every week since my personal life is in the way and I’m going part time online wise since I’m trying to focus more on my personal life and the ppl I see face to face these days you know.
Basically the reason I’m part time is that besides having good mates from this site & my fan accounts. I’m not happy with online. Never have tbh. I’m not much an online person believe it or not. I do my best to post and chat to yous all but it’s usually always depresses me that I’m a loner & I see others having a great time. Happy for them but I’m sad that I’m not like them and with me being part time I want to focus on getting something in my life or someone in my life that’ll be there for me often. Instead of on rare occasions. Just that I think social media is bad news. I’ve run my fan accounts since January and it’s always negative or egotistical as hell which I can’t stand. Also their a few models that have been anti male and been pretty shitty that cause to be online much. Just cause their gorgeous outside doesn’t mean they are inside. I see some disgusting fucked up things on their Twitter accounts and even about two of them bullied me on the XtremePlaypen chatroom which cause me to quit that site for good. Yeah it’s becoming less fun doing the fan accounts tbh and I spend too much money on the models that I got a bit of an addiction. It’s getting dangerous and I feel a small few are taking an advantage of my generosity. Noticed that when @reallifepirate said that to me & thought about that. Saying I’m doing enough with the blogs and fans accounts. I think she’s right, I always know it’s right. So I think I’ll stop that for now. Now like I said this is not to every model I’ve interacted with. A lot of them have been great to me. Like Scarlet Honey for example who’s been a good mate to me since the beginning. Always chat to her and hopefully will see her on Suicide Girls one day. Same with @rubyalexia @narsil @blaizee @chroi @paigerose @phianixx @missjcristina @heatherrann @peachie_ @gnomi @syrinn @sammiii @evoke etc. Basically all the SG models. Nothing but very positive people who support me back. Even though I’m always too nervous & shy to usually talk daily to them sometimes. Same with photographers like @tripodski @niallpatterson also who are good mates of mine too.
Just cause I’m not always around online, doesn’t mean I don’t want to talk or that. I’m usually up for a chat or give away my WhatsApp if yous want to. I’m fairly harmless. Everyone can tell you I’m so easygoing when I’m not too anxious or shy to talk you know. But I do eventually.
That’s why I’m not online much on my social media. Especially my Snapchat even though I do have premium Snapchats on there. That’s my mental health in the nutshell. Always feel like ppl are going to hate me, tense me, bully me, etc. Even though I know yous aren’t you know. It’s hell but there you go. I always want to write more about my personal health and the improvements I’ve done.
Like the last weekend for example. I’ve been to Glasgow on a night out for the first time in a year & a half. Felt good. Had a great time. Was out for my mate’s 40th birthday & it was a Pub Golf themed day out. Basically it’s a pub crawl. Even though I don’t drink anymore. Still I had non alcoholic beers. Not that much though. It was a great night. I was mostly nervous as fuck since it’s out of my elements you know. Tbh I never like nights out. I get too anxious and get panic attacks from it. In fact one night out I actually ran away from it. Couldn’t take it you know. But I didn’t want to run away cause I love the company I was with. For the first time I feel like I was apart of the group. Instead of feeling left out. Usually when it happens I cry a lot and don’t sleep cause I feel so miserable. But since I’ve reconnected with my old childhood friend & his mates two years ago. It doesn’t happen often due to them having a lot on their plate. It’s always a good time. So I felt nervous but they knew the sign cause they have mental health issues too. It was definitely welcomed and hopefully I’ll have more get togethers with them soon.
Yeah I think this is me with my mate who is wasted by this point lol. I’m the bald dude in the suit lol. Not bad looking myself eh. Yeah it does mean a lot being out and about with people I can relate on. Hopefully it’ll continue to grow. I’m ready for the next steps. And continue to write blogs cause I do enjoy them. It’s probably the only time I enjoy myself online besides the chats I have. Hopefully I’ll find a career someday somewhere in my very limited town. Hopefully I’ll have more awesome relationships with ppl offline as well as online. Usually it’s a banter between us when I kick myself in the arse and just chat.
Usually I’m always chatting about video games. Just ask @xheartswornx that’s all we chat about on my WhatsApp lol. Also I’m always cooking up something. Love to share more food pics with anyone who wants to see it. I don’t vegan meals much though but I do cook some sometimes.
Yeah I just love to chat like normal people do, in a way. Only it’s not face to face and I’m usually too shy to do video calls or calls in general lol. Think I’m better at face to face. Less anxious afterwards when I know it’s genuine. It’s hard to know if ppl are what they make out to be online you know. That’s why I try to create a circle of trust and I do trust the models & photographers since they know my real name and I know theirs but I don’t reveal it cause it’s our secret. They respect my privacy, I respect theirs you know.
It is hard to come across well online but I’m not beating myself down. I know who I am. I’m always cool with everyone. And I’m never going to change. If I have issues, I do address it. Like why I quit XtremePlaypen. I just stick to know what I do best. That’s all I can do. I don’t bet for anything really. I know I do tag models and photographers but I don’t want them to think that I’m a crazy person cause I’m not & they know I’m not. I tag cause their awesome people and I’m highlighting them cause they earn that. I don’t think we’ll meet face to face but they are awesome ppl. I still read the notes @missjcristina @chroi and @evoke wrote to me. As well as the blog @narsil wrote about me. As well as the countless shoutouts from models on their fan accounts. It does mean the world.
Don’t think that I’m part time for now doesn’t mean that I don’t like yous. Don’t think that I’ve stopped backing on ur OnlyFans/Patreon/admireme means I don’t want to support you. I appreciate yous all. I know I’m not the only one who feels alone, betrayed, bullied, etc. I do read & watch ur stuff. You can chat to me anytime. I always reply when I’m online. And I know yous are busy ppl so I understand that it’s not all the time.
Luckily that weekend is exactly what I needed. Playing a lot of video games is what I need. Having cool weather back is what I need lol. Anything to help out you know.
Writing blogs like this definitely helps. Hopefully I’ll tell you more about good times more often. See what happens.
Anyway thank you for reading the revamped blog of mine. Formerly the weekly blog. I’ll be working on my next FSS blog next and even thinking of doing a Q&A vlog on here. If you do have a question. Let me know in the messages or anything at all. It’s open to everyone.
Til then this is KungFury saying take care, much love and if you’re in Glasgow. Check out the Solid Rock bar. It’s a metal bar that I highly recommend. Pretty awesome. Hope to go back there one day! 😊👍🏻
@missy @rambo @sean