Hey peeps, hope you’re doing good and your week & weekend was awesome. Welcome to another weekly blog of mine. Where I just chat about my life, my week, my non SG model shoutout, blah blah you know the drill by now lol.
So how was my week? Pretty good.
Yeah my week was pretty good. 💯 better than my previous weeks when I was struggle with my mental health. Too much alone time. I can’t stand being alone. Been at it for too long and I’m burned out from it. So I’m trying to do something about my life to improve my mental health and better myself. So been looking at jobs, college, etc. Even looking at getting my own place. I love my folks but I’m fed up with living with my parents. Need my own space, they understand that. So I’m looking at places. So I may get one soon. Hopefully I can start doing twitch soon.
I am trying to be more sociable online. As part of my CBT program session. Which I can’t wait for it to finish. It’s repeating itself a lot and I’m sick of writing down my negative thoughts, makes me a bit down you know. I’m not afraid to reveal one of them. It’s feeling like no one wants to talk to me. I do know why people don’t usually. It’s usually cause their too busy, they don’t me personally, etc. I understand that. It’s like that with people’s Facebook. I try not to take offence to it but it sometimes hurt inside that. The feeling of not being wanted cause I am a guy online. It’s thoughts like that I got mental health. It’s a force of habit cause I’m mostly alone. It’s an automatic thought. With depression you get automatic thoughts, even though you don’t mean it & it’s not true. I know people like me and I think models chat to me often more than any member cause of my blogs/fan accounts, my personality, my positivity, I don’t treat them like a object for kinks/etc and cause I’m not full of shit. I treat them like my equals as always. I know they like chatting to me and I’m realising it more. Also their probably shy to talk to me. Don’t be, I’m easygoing. I’m like one of the girls. Even though I am a straight guy lol jk. But yeah yous have nothing to fear from me. I’m more anxious than yous, trust me lol.
If you open to add me on WhatsApp/my personal Facebook or play/chat either on PS4 or Xbox One. Just DM me. Also goes to the members too.
Yeah my week has been busy in a good way. Back doing my usual MCM/WCW posts on my fan accounts, been cooking again, been having meetings or arranging some with a few ppl on maybe getting back into college. Thinking about either do music, writing, photography or drama. I’m more leaning towards music since I love to form a band, especially I write so much songs as well as blog on here. No matter I always write. It’s helped improve my mental health and express my feelings more you know. So love to do it for a living. Also been working on my growling & clean vocals cause yeah it’ll be a metal band I’m forming. Again it’s ideas. But the meeting is really to find what’s the best path for me realistically. Sometimes my ideas are wishful thinking. Usually doesn’t mean it’s right for me. I learned that a few years ago when I went to college to try to be a video game designer but I find out that it wasn’t for me. So that’s why I’m arranging meetings with advisers who are experts. So there’s always help out there peeps. Don’t be afraid to chat to ppl to help you. That’s what I’ve been doing. First meeting went well. The lassie was very passionate and caring. Which is something I need. Need people who give a shit than not. That’s been my problem, I usually stick with it when it’s best to admit defeat. Sometimes you just need to leave ppl behind who are toxic. You do have a choice, always. Nobody needs that or deserves that. It gets too much. I know, how you think I got mental health issues. Cause I stick with it when I shouldn’t. If it’s toxic, best to walk away from it. You don’t deserve negativity. Nobody does. Either walk away or stay long enough to become the negativity you try not to be yous know what I mean? That’s what I’ve learned. That’s why I’m improving cause I’m in control. And I’m feeling better because of it. So hopefully these meetings will lead to somewhere. I’m confident it will.
Think these walks I’ve been doing for over a year now has helped me too. I’ve lost a few pounds. I always was slim but I gained a bit of obese weight from being a shut in for years due to like I said being in toxic places & situations. But I have been doing my best to kick negativity in the arse by doing walks since that’s better than going to the gym for me at the time. I may go back to the gym. Depends on the gym really. But I love my big walks. It’s saved my life, no joke. I feel like a lot of things have. Strangely there has helped me. I never thought that the alternative modelling industry has helped me, just from writing & posting about it. It has and got me friends from it over the last few months from doing the blogs, fan accounts, support my favourite models that I become mates with. Also gaining mates from members too. Seriously it has helped me. I was at rock bottom three or four years ago. I’ve come far. Now I’m doing big walks that not many people can do. I feel like I’m achieving something. Same with me as a home cook & bake. I need to share my food pics in the food group.
So yeah if you follow me on Instagram or on Snapchat or both. You may saw my big walk on Friday. If you missed it or not on it, I’ll tell yous about it. Me & my Dad were at this big lake called Loch Bradan, which is at the south of Scotland. It’s basically surrounded by woodlands and hills. It’s just breathtaking. It was so quiet there too. It was just the best time. These are the things I really wanted to do. Some ppl want to go to Download festival and that. I want to go on adventures and see the world you know. I feel people want to be where the crowd is. For me I avoid the crowd cause of my social anxiety/crowd phobia. So going to places like Loch Bradan is nothing.
You may seen my video on my profile of it but here’s some pics of my time there.
Pretty dope right? It’s like I’m in middle earth searching for my fellow elves @rubyalexia @narsil etc lol. Yeah I’m building my Elf Clan to takeover the world lol jk. But yeah it was a great place, love it. Felt at peace out there with my Dad, who always wanted to do that too since he didn’t had time cause of work. Now he’s retired he wants to do it with me often cause he & my mum knew that I’m depressed and needed things like that. So been doing that. In fact just came back from a walk by the time I wrote this. Was at the beach but tbh I didn’t like it. Was too busy and seagulls where everywhere, flying in your face and everything. Not the best lol. Still it was a walk.
Even though it’s easy to sit on my ass and watch tv & play video games all day but it’s not the best for your mental health. It’s awesome if it’s often but not all the time you know. It’s best to get out there and do something active you know. That’s how I feel atm.
That’s me btw. Gorgeous dude I am right? Right? Lol. Yeah I’m gaining more confidence to show face online. Yeah I’m getting there. One step at a time.
Hopefully it’ll continue to do so. Just more steps to be set for life. So yeah things are getting better. Working on it, just got to keep at it.
Anyway that’s my week. I am going to write my next FSS blog soon and it’ll be a big one. I’m a bit behind but as yous read, for good reason. But I’ve still time for that and my fan accounts. I love to work hard on my walks, cooking, blogs, fan accounts, etc. It has helped me sleep better at night and gives me a chance to listen to my albums while doing these so it’s awesome lol. Try to fit in more blogs. Like my Favourite Tunes, haven’t done that in a while or a gaming blog. Just don’t much ideas on that besides my usual blogs like this, Appreciation Blogs and Favourite SG sets blogs. So my next FSS blog is next, there’s a lot of awesome ones in this one. And yes one of them is done by @tripodski as usual. As well as other regulars too. Look forward to that.
So now it’s near the end of this blog. Time for my non SG model shoutout. This week it’s a fellow Scot this time. Among @syrinn @stormymissb @paulinki @its_hollyy @chiyosa @justkoop @ghillie etc she’s more prove that we Scots are hot too. I mean look at me above, I rock the beanie look haha. Anyway this here is Kendall. You can follow her on Instagram HERE and go support her. DM her about premium Snapchat. I recommend it, she does good content there. Yous won’t be disappointed.
As you see she’s gorgeous. Told yous we have gorgeous lassies here in Scotland right? Well we do damnit lol.
Anyway thank you very much for reading as always peeps. I do appreciate it and I’m grateful to yous all. Thanks for all the feedbacks as always. Yous are the best.
Til the next blog this is KungFury saying take care, much love and I actually walk a 1,000 miles & may walk a 1’000 more lol. 😊👍🏻
@missy @rambo @sean