Hey there everyone hope everyone is doing well. And you’re doing great with whatever you’re doing.
Sorry I’ve been quiet on the blogs and talking to yous. I’m pretty inactive these days. Reason is I’m quite down a lot. If any of yous read my last couple of blogs you know why. But if you haven’t, it’s all in this blog below
Basically I’ve been battling mental illness for a while. Due to bad luck with ppl which has made me a loner for most of my life. And it’s a daily struggle. Even being on sites like this is a struggle cause in my head I feel like a pervert but I know I’m not cause I respect females, especially all you models who do this work. I know it’s not easy. A lot of close minded uneducated people think posing nudes is easy but it’s not. Takes confidence and courage to do it. That’s why you always got my respect there.
I’m more understanding than others due to my own mental health battles and dealing with bad situations. I lost two of my best friends to an awful disease they both have, lost two of my uncles due to alcoholism, drop out of my first college cause I was a stoner due to being a loner in that college, etc etc. Theirs so much shit I went through to be the person I am today. Glad my life is laid back but I want to hang with good people outside of my family circle u know. My family are awesome but I want friends & a gf down the line, who knows.
Being on social media doesn’t help me either. Every time I’m on there, there’s a post on there that either depresses me, makes me feel self pity and envy. Cause I look at some of my followers stuff and their just showing their good side & I think to myself “I wish that was my life” you know. Their so happy and having a blast with mates. I get Envy from it u know. I’m sure everyone feels like that. But I get it the most. Especially girls who always post pictures of them with friends, going out (looking great btw) and just having fun. In one hand I’m happy for them, I’m happy their having a great time. But at the same time it depresses me since my life is the opposite of that. I’m always indoors and in my room alone. It’s not healthy.
I wish there is a solution to my problems but finding something to do, the right crowd & proper help in my town is extremely hard. So I’m doing my best to move to close to the city like either Glasgow or Edinburgh since I’m from Scotland after all lol. But realistically I should be over there to get to A and B.
A lot of this is hard for me due to having ASD, which is Aspergers. Even though ppl never notice it cause I’m “normal” but I do have it. I just easily emotional and sensitive than others sometimes. Even though I control myself better that nobody notices. But I do my best. Sometimes when I tell that to ppl, I feel like it drives ppl away. Like it’ll feel like work hanging with this guy u know, but I’m so laidback and easygoing.
But I hate feeling like my mental health issues drives ppl away cause it’ll make them feel like it’s too much work or they rather not hang out with me or talk to me. Idk why, I do my best. It’s all you can do right.
Just wish someone could understand me, accepts me and appreciates me for being me cause I should be having friends. I’m easygoing, laidback, love to have a laugh, into nerd stuff, good taste in music, loves to get active, can cook (a woman loves a man that can cook, why am I still single lol) and so forth. Just bad luck and being in the wrong places over years has made me a loner. I blame the social services in my area, their terrible. But I rather not get into that. Long story short their history.
Yeah I do my best to cope with my boring unsociable life as I do. It’s all I can do really. No choice. But it could be worse. Least I have an awesome family, who without them. I would be in a even worse shape. And I’m always improving. One step at a time.
Also I should thank a few ppl on here who have been great to me online through the social medias and here of course. @kaptaine @lishablackhurst @reallifepirate @blaizee @leacheyenne @rubyalexia @snitches @cherrylowe @nanci and so forth
Theirs others but that’s from a different place I go to. Yeah just thank you guys & gals. And thank you for reading. I do appreciate it, really I do mean it. I don’t want to come across as corny prick here lol but I do appreciate everyone’s support, comments, reading and just being a follower. And hopefully my blogs helps everyone out there too that’s going through a bad situation, who’s mentally unwell, etc.
I’m always up for a chat so feel free to follow me on Snapchat & Instagram at kungfury87. I usually positive vibes since I feel like it’s important cause I believe it does help to remind ppl that you’re not alone. Keep hanging in there and things will get better.
Anyway cheers again for reading, commenting, liking, etc. Much love!! 😎🤘🏻