23

I‘m here. Here. Here. But I‘m not.
It’s just a blur

You can see everything moving

Except yourself

It’s loud. But also weirdly quiet.
I don’t know where I am.

I don’t know what’s happening.

I don’t recognise the person in the mirror.

I look at my hands - they‘re not mine.
I look at my body - it‘s not mine.

It moves. It breathes....
Read More

VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
softnsweet:
Very sad and scary, dissociation from the fear, pain and shame, one person cannot handle all this so other parts are needed to help survive. You are on a scary journey and I hope you can grab onto someone to help you navigate the maze in you head and find a bit of quiet and yourself.
konekoya:
@rode0joe yes I am! Just late night thoughts.
16

Why is it so hard to respect a girls boundaries?

I post SO much hot stuff on OF and Patreon and I do everything to make my subscribers happy.

I often make clear, that I don‘t post masturbation content. This is because of trauma and because I just feel like I don’t want to.

But regardless of what I say and how much stuff I...
Read More

VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
elfrockstar:
im sorry people treat you poorly and dont respect your boundaries. hugs*
25901jfm:
Why do some guys find it so hard to be respectful? I'm so sorry you have to keep putting up with this.
16

I just left the group ‚Thin Girls‘ here :( it makes me so sad, like 20 years of my life I‘ve always been super skinny. Like super super skinny and I couldn’t change it...

And in a matter of months I gained so much weight


I‘m not sure if I like myself like this. I don‘t know what I SHOULD look like. This feels like...
Read More

VIEW 20 of 20 COMMENTS
nyyfan3352:
I think it's about comfort. We always worry about weight, more women than men, the point is, as we get older we will put on weight. There are a lot of factors involved too, stress, happiness that kind of stuff. It's not my place to judge anyone else.  Be happy with you, that's what counts. You are absolutely gorgeous love. ❤⚘💋
robertbluesman:
Your wrapping doesn’t hint at the real present inside. Just be you, and I’ll admire you more every day.
25

Hello there!

It's Mental Health Awareness Month, and it's super important for me to educate others about mental illlness as much as I can.

7 years ago, I was misdiagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I was only 15 years old but this doctor INSISTED that I would have it. Every other psychologist and doctor believed her, so I had this label on me for... yeah....
Read More

VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
blader69:
it´s hard to understand it. Hope all will be better soon. Stay strong and healthy.
softnsweet:
Just reread this blog and really appreciate how expressive and informative it is, and it is so true these diagnoses are not uncommon with complex PTSD and sexual abuse.
11

Hello there!

I just wanted to inform you that Twitter is the only Platform I post Daily currently! :) Probably because I have soooo much work and posting there is just quick and easy! If you want to give me a follow:

Twitter.com/kittyxsuicide

Konekoya x

12

Hello there!

Approx. 2 weeks ago I've submitted a new set and I didn't get an e Mail yet. I've asked the support Team and they told me on Friday that they'll be working on the queue in the next few days.

Now i'm super insecure, maybe I didn't submit it right or at all because of my Bad Internet connection?

Or is it possible...
Read More

VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
star:
It’ll say pending review right above the photo set you submitted.
jetwindag:
Yeah, what's the status of that set? When do we get to see it?
16

I've been inactive for way too long. I'm rising from the ashes after my mental illness Burned me down again.

After all of this I'm alive. And Theres a new set on its way.

Also, I've started a new patreon with exclusive content. If you are interested you can take a look at it.

patreon.com/konekoyasuicide

I'm so thankful for all the support I'm receiving. I...
Read More

VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
elfrockstar:
Always nice to hear from you.
therustycheez:
Will keep telling you, just like WeissBier, you deserve it! Glad to hear from you again =)
28

Hello guys!

I really want to start shooting Sets again, it's been too long!

Are there any shootfests in Europe planned for 2020?

Or are any photographers in Germany now? :)

Konekoya x

liasworld:
Yes please!!! @andrealaz is still shooting. You know her ;o) I'd love to go to a shootfest as well one day. But I didn't really have time so far to check for any.....
augenblicke:
I shot a lot of sets in California but live in Bavaria now. I, too want to start Shootings again - just on the other side of the lens 😉