kmatt

Sometimes you just need to cry. I honestly wish more than anything that I could. It's been so long, I can't even remember. Perhaps I've just had a smile on my face so long that I've forgotten how to remove it and see what lies beneath.

Now don't get me wrong, I"m almost always in a good mood, but that's just because overall I'm irresponsible as fuck. I tend to overlook reality and pretend I'm in a happy little perfect world, and I just ignore the problems, That's not a horrible thing, but there needs to be a balance between fantasy and reality.

I guess I just feel rather lost and lonely. Kinda like I don't really fit in or belong anywhere. My closest real friend lives in New York, I haven't dated in years, and my whole social life consists of work and...work. Funny how I can be completely carefree and outgoing in my work environments. I have amazing social skills on the job and make people want to come back, but when it comes down to a personal level, I'm shy and introverted. You might see me happily dancing in the middle of the street, but if you approach me with interest, I tend to become indimidated and hide.

And I could go on and on, but what's the point. I already know all of this because it's what goes on in my head every day, so who knows why I feel the need to share it. Now anyone who reads this is gonna know, and what the hells the point in that. I guess it's the closest thing I have to an outlet for my emotions since I can't cry. Maybe I'll wake up feeling better tomorrow because of this. Pbbffft.

P..S. On a brighter, funnier, happier note...holy shit did anyone watch "HEROES" on NBC? The asian guy on it is my twin brother I swear to God. The picture I have up right now doesn't really show it, but in real life if you put the two of us side by side, you'd swear we were twins. I had people i've known for years watching it and calling me saying "Oh my God Matt! You're on tv!." Funniest, and knida creepiest, thing ever.