eh. another sucky night to complete my totally sucky weekend. we went to some stupid karaoke thing. there was a show that i knew my ex was gonna be at. it was probably cool, but i just didn't want to see him and make a fool out of myself. and trust me, i probably would have. anyway, i'm done with going out as opposed to staying in so i won't be sad. going out is just as if not more depressing to me than staying home. i just watch my friends talk to boys and i sit there thinking about...well, other things. anyway, im sick of it. all. from now on, i'm just gonna sit here and watch tv. it's gotta be better than choking on cigarette smoke and dodging creepy looking fucks who probably wanna date rape me. don't you just love reading my journals? aren't they so inspiring? i'm sorry guys...... 
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But seriously, I know it's painfull, but don't let him break you. If you turn into a hermit, he wins! Fuck the self pity and get right back on that horse girlie! Nothing would bother him more thatn to see you out having a good time by yourself with your friends, etc.
Don't let the question of whether or not he's going to be there or not dictate where you go, in fact, I'd search out the places he's going to be jsut to rub his face in the fact that you CAN be happy without him (not in a Jan Brady sort of way, but you get the point).
Take care, and have fun being single for Pete's sake!