always glad to be of service. I'm not sure which way I prefer my latest, I think Huck was right about it flowing better and to be honest, being more like a 'real' poem with the second arrangement, but the first suited the mood - more a little rant than a formalised poem...it was rough and I can't choose xx
weeell, a large fraction of my poems are about women/romance/sex, i suppose, and one of them (Born Too Soon) was featured in the recent BHM World Poetry Day thing, as you know, but any smut is incidental, and it's not necessarily something you guys should be wasting a review on. still, i would be honoured! and i imagine you would be productively honest, too.
in my mind, "cull" is forever associated with "the culling of the masses", for some stupid reason. it is a fine word, tho, and i should be less neurotic.
what's the problem with the above piece, for you? my "complaint" would be that i balk at the sight of such a long piece, but that's just my laziness, and some guys (O'Hara, for example) do epics very well. have you thought about chopping it up? reportioning it, so to speak? or you could balance out the stanzas, arrange them into four or five bigger blocks, like a series of heavy punches. then again, it is very good as it is.
xx
