That sounds a lot like me on a down kinda day...on a happy times kinda day I'm all " WOOOOOOOO YEAH GOOD TIMES!! " just like that .It's really snowing in that picture!! I kind of miss the snow
You're just young - it does take most folks quite a while to get things halfway figured out. Definitely did in my case. Hang in there, you will eventually get to a better place...