Picture this: you see this person across the room. You've never met them, you don't know who they are, and they are sexy as all hell. You decide to talk them up, you get to know them, things get interesting and then . . . nothing. All of a sudden you know them really well, but that attraction you felt is stone cold gone. And it's not because you found out they like, collect raccoon teeth or something, it's not because they're an asshole. You just got to know them, and now they aren't sexy. But the person you just saw from across the room is . . .
That is the basic description of a Fraysexual's potential experience, per descriptions by fraysexuals. People they don't know have the potential to be sexy, people they know well, that they've formed some sort of bond or understanding with or what-have-you are not sexy at all. And it's nothing more or less than knowing the person in a certain way (individual to each fraysexual) that ends that sexual attraction. There's likely to be people who don't know why this happens to them, who just assume they only like the chase, not the catch, if you will. And sure, there are people for whom that's the truth. But then there's people who just . . . can't get close to someone and still be sexually attracted to them. It's the way their brain works.
And if you've ever accidentally happened upon one of these folks, it was probably maddening, but imagine that cycle and not knowing that there's a term for it, and they just assume something is wrong with them. Like, they start pondering if they're just not ready for commitment, or that they might be to scared of . . . closeness? But they like closeness with that person, they want to be good friends with them, they just . . . don't see that close person as sexy anymore. Doesn't mean they aren't willing to have sex with that person (especially because they know them so well and maybe that's all they need), but the person still isn't sexy to them.
As I'm the polar opposite of this one, I can only imagine the sheer frustration as you get to know someone and feel that sexual attraction you felt at the beginning just slip away, potentially time after time, and not knowing why.
