Who says romance is dead? Good call on the gloves; as everyone knows, you can catch "the gayness" if you touch another guy's wiener, even if the aforementioned wiener was busy shuttling around your faithless trollops' hoo-ha or detached from the offending dude. The katana and the 50 cal are a nice touch as well. Go big or go home, am I right?
Fight the good fight!

You have to respect the ginormous cojones of a man who keeps C4 and grenades around in the event that his girlfriend is ever unfaithful.

Rock on.

It's too bad that all that careful planning will go to waste.

latex free gloves? You have an allergy?

Oh, OK. A rash just seems like small potatoes if you're just gonna drive your car into a wall anyway. Good Luck!

i use my katana to open letters, my mailman thinks it's badass.
you must keep that 'ma deuce' by the bed to deal with all things that go bump in the night.
why would you throw his dick at her face, he probably already threw it in her earlier that day.

-TM

And now for a serious question: Do you skull-fuck the corpse of your girlfriend or don't you? On the one hand it might be overkill but on the other hand everyone knows that break-up sex is the best!

Jesus fuck. You're pretty serious about infidelity huh?

I hear Mexico is a better place to live than Canada.... Yea, go there instead if this ever pans out, pretty please.

Runnnnniinng with the Devil.