So... yeah, I just wrote an entry like two days ago I guess, I don't know
On that entry I detailed, not the reason why I left for a while, but just some things that happened while I was gone. Making it short, I got a haircut (which I took a picture and put it as a profile picture. it was awful so I took another one with my laptop camera, now i'm holding a slice of bread and yes, I'm wearing the same shirt as the previous picture.) the "President Underwood" style as I like to call it. Something that also happened is that my dog died and I entered on a state of fear of death and confusion for a week, I still felt like shit during that week.
Besides that, recently I've been doing the exact same thing I do everyday, you know, commenting on meme pages, watching League of Legends videos mostly for backgrounds noise while I play on my phone or while I browse random Wikipedia articles.
I'm honestly getting rotten of being like this.
I mean, I don't have a job, I don't have a reason to get one, I don't have a reason to live, my life is meaningless, I don't have any friends that give two shits about if i'm good or not and I don't have a girlfriend, nobody loves me like that.
I think I already mentioned that I'm afraid of having heart problems, I don't even know and I know that if I have something that can be cured I don't think I would fight the sickness, I would just let myself die, because for sure this life is not worth fighting for.
Hell, I'm really considering killing myself now.
Where's the "I want to help people, I want to help people being happy" if I myself can't help myself out of this, how can i make someone happy if i'm not happy myself. I feel trapped, I feel alone, I feel worthless, useless... I am worthless and useless and the worst part is that I feel I can't be saved.
Trying to look at the bright side, I was able to get Forza Horizon for the 360 and I'm completely in love of that game, I just love it.
At the end looking at the things as they are right now everything pretty much continues to be the same shit as every day.
As usual, nobody's reading this past the first lines and the title, so I'm going to write this. Miiel I love you and I want to marry you and Cara, I know you don't read the whole thing, but that's ok, thanks for even noticing that I wrote something. I really appreciate it.
Good night and godspeed.