jerawyn

There are two kinds of love. The kind that lifts you up and makes you better for having known it, and the kind that seems like a crazy roller coaster ride, up, down, up down, before hurling your rag doll of a heart off the ride forever.

I've been fortunate to survive both, and i'm happily settled with the former. Although, from time to time, a little dream about the latter slips thru the conciousness and reminds me that while the grass looks greener, it's because of all that shit that's covering it. Anyway, i had a dream that i was going to meet an Ex in the hall closet, so we could kiss and hold hands for a half hour.

This morning i wake to one of his e-mails. Quite harmless really, but every Spring this happens. It reminds me of "Like Water for Chocolate", which is a favorite movie of mine, though i pondered for many years to make sense of the title.

Now i think i get it. I think it means; In love, we would trade what is essential, for what is frivolous, and be happy for it, even as we're thirsting to death and dying. Not realising that what was essential would have carried us thru our entire lives, and we could have been happy anyway.

Which is why, ultimately, the brain has the top floor, and the heart is only a mid-rise tenant.