jelly_bean

my phone fell into the toilet.

it doesn't work.

i freaked.

not b/c my phone fell in, not b/c it is broken, but b/c this is the worst possible time for me to have to afford to buy a new one. as in, i can't afford another one. there's slight sucking power. then i got sad b/c joual asked me if i could ask my parents and i can't. they are already behind on bills b/c of all the money they had to shell out for my brother, i can't ask them for money. especially when i already owe my ada money.

and again, it was in front of joual and again he got to see me flip out for a split second. and he got to see me freak. and he got to see me as be anything but strong. and now i'm sad. b/c i hate when i get like that but breaking the phone brought the issue in my head of my parents not being able to help me...and that hurt.

but he's amazing. he's being amazing. he sat me down and made me think a plan through. i need to get a new phone if this one doesn't work in the morning. so now i am fine. i am good.

i'm going to go throw my arms around my boy, give him a huge hug and tell him over and over again thank you for putting up w/ my random craziness.