My name Jawara comes from Indonesia. It's the name of a tribe of people who are small and shy. I remember being a kid and feeling shy and nervous about people judging me when my Mom moved us to North Carolina. Sadly I was not wrong. It made me a bit of a target to the local kids so I started getting my Mom to call me Jae. For a really long time, that was my name. Like college years long. It wasn't until I started trying to make a living as a painter I started going by my real name again. I was 25. It's crazy how much I just wanted to fit in. I think I figured out I stood out when I got hurt at a part time kitchen job that I learned how I was different and nothing I did would make me invisible. Many burns and bruises later here I am. It has been a long road but the man named after many can love himself and I feel the time I got there was when I started painting from the inside.
I guess I came to the conclusion that when you learn to love yourself all the good can come out and it is so much easier to love other people honestly from there.