Random thought........memory
I was looking in my notifications and I saw a member with glasses and it reminded me of Ana. Ana was this girl I met on Myspace in college for a year. I knew her because I was a friends with her friend Dana who was a drug dealer at/in a club I was bartering at. I knew her not because her side job but because she loved Vodka screwdrivers. One day she walks in with this cute skinny blonde girl with glasses and braces and her name was Ana. She is sweet and loved to dance but was awkward at it and I found that cute. I didn't say anything to her at the time. A few weeks later we found each other in "the space." We called it that because we found it silly that you could blow a shot to talk to someones face so you could email them over a friend site. The irony is not lost on me now either sadly. :)
Anyway.......
So we became digital pen pals. I being this silly art student was in love with this silly goofy girl and every time we met it was awkward and nervous. Never kissed and never said a romantic word in person but over the phone we would sit and talk for like an hour a week. It was a long time for me. I'm not really a phone person. I'm working on fixing that being that my Mom is many states away. I feel bad for moments in the month that she wants to talk to me about my day and I feel nothing about it. But the feeling is often fleeting. We are not close........but back to Ana....
I remember wondering if we were in love and even being asked by women who lived around me if we were going to be a couple but it never happened. I painted her once in a painting and she loved it. I gave it to her at the end of that year as a gift for her babies room she was having with an old boyfriend. It all happened so fast I didn't know what to think or how to take it in. So I figured she needed me to continue to be her phone and Myspace buddy for a bit. She moved from an hour away to Florida...many many miles away to live with her Mom. The guy and her didn't work out. Slow we drifted and Myspace died off and that way the end of Ana.
I remember after I wrote a story about her and illustrated it. I think I which our genders and points of view. It was badly drawn but it gave me closure. I think back and I knew a few women back then who had babies with exes in the mist of searching for love and I think they found them after their big loves of their lives where born. I run into so many exes when Alec and I go down to see my Mom every few years. Thankfully she doesn't find it weird. She knows this story and runs her finger's in my hair smiling at me looking deeply in my eyes. I don't know how many women I didn't end up with before Alec but I'm so glad I have her. She knows my , memories, my secrets, my fears, passions and happy moments. I'm a lucky guy that way.
She is writing a book now and reads it to me at night over tea. We hang up these lights and turn the lights down low and in those moments I know I am in the best place I have ever been in my life. I don't know how I became so much more then this painter who was always in search of a muse to the best of me with her smiling like a fool.