jake_lex

So I got home from work today to find a letter addressed to me from...the United States District Attorney's Office.

I had a little feeling of a mini freak-out when I saw it. I couldn't imagine what it could be. Had the RIAA finally figured out I'd been downloading stuff? Was I being punished for giving the Dean campaign $20? What was going on?

I opened it, and read a letter saying that under my rights as a "victim of crime", I had the right to be informed that a certain person was being arraigned on such-and-such date for the crime of mail fraud. I couldn't remember what it was at first, then I remembered that when I moved out of my shitty apartment last year, the postal service (not the synth-pop band, the USPS) had fucked up my change of address, and my mail had fallen into the hands of some horrid person who'd decided to take my credit card out for a ride. I got off relatively lucky: all she got out of me was $50 for a cell phone bill. My roommate had a much rougher time: her credit cards were taken for an approximately $5,000 ride. Luckily, everyone's bills have been wiped clean, and this bitch is going to the slammer. And it won't be a sexy slammer where babes in lingerie have fights in the showers either. No, this will be less like a prison movie on Cinemax, and more like the one on HBO.