jacinda

Happiness is a thing of the past.

The happiness that I know only comes in a pill form.
I think about the last time i was truely happy and I can't remember. I know that I have been happy but I dont know if it is b/c of the meds or it was true.

I guess I want to think it was real.

The mind wonders in this room that seems to trap me...but the fumes of the piece of junk metal that i sit in seems to make it a bit more relaxing.

I want to run away.
I want to scream at the world that it was not fair to me. Why did I have to have a hard life? Has it really made me a stonger person? That is what my mom tells me over and over...so much that I can't blame her. She did the best that any 15 year old girl could do to raise me right. But I need to forget the past and live today.

I will live my life as a happy cheery person until I forget to pop that pill.
That little pill that seems to make me wake up and live on another day. That makes everyone beileve that I have got it all together. That pill. G D that pill.