itasianinvasion

Children, I fear that my mother, in a move equal parts diabolical and desperate, has passed onto me her allergy to alcohol.

Now, I can drink.

Oh HOOOOOO, I can drink.

I have several witnesses and photos that prove I can drink.

That you actually have photos of me, proves that that bitch, Lady Alcohol, has dulled my ninja reflexes to such a degree that my movements can be caught on film proves that I do in fact drink, and even, get drunk.

FACT.

However, it takes almost nothing for me to get buzzed. Two beers, and I am feeling great. Not drunk, but good.

Another symptom of this aversion to booze is: I cannot drink two days a in row. Fact. It makes me sick, and here I am, Little Percent weekend, lying on my bed, as "Enter the Dragon" plays lightly in the background (the movie, not the album), wishing for God to let me die. All because I drank three days in a row.


Good one, God. Lesson learned.
Matt