One is relieved absolutely of a contract the other party has already breached. --Law 101. Because being a paralegal was another thing I wasted my time doing.
What are you presuming to lecture me about? And why?
I come from the most broken home imaginable. My father was an abusive drunk who committed slow suicide before my child eyes. There are worse things in a palace than what my beloved and equally pampered son beholds, contemplates, internalizes.
And it is my husband who shits where we eat, not I, not I.
My scenery hasn't changed in 22 years. It aint so simple. I have intermittent disabilities of my own and custody to think of. And, at bottom, I would love my husband if he in the least loved me. That's an abiding fact. It is hard to keep loving someone who refuses . . . and hard to give up and just stop, however unreachable the person perhaps intrinsically is.
I'd like to think good-hearted isn't well behaved. Sometimes my only comfort is in being decidedly not well behaved. Why? Well, I need to know where the boundary is, between me and the person I imagine is hurting me. But . . . what I said about text prevails. It matters little what we intend, or whose fault it is. Situations grow further into themselves and become . . . well, in-grown.
As for my childhood, I didn't call out the ghost of my sad father to play "name that pain" with you. I called it out to assure you, since you seem to require this assurance, that I have my eye on my son's heart before all else, because I know what it is to be "damaged" by adults. That's all. A historical fact is a historical fact, not a game to me. Especially my father and all that pain . . . that's no game or exploitative verbal maneuver.
I think it is at least bordering on oversimplification to blame anyone's marital problems on PMS, but, I do find that PMS amplifies in my consciousness what is actually going on. It is usually better for me to not write people, not speak to people, because the reality is too real and the impetus to torch is so strong . . . but it is seldom possible to manage pure silence and oblivion 10 days out of every month. But you wouldn't know what that's like, would ya? Gotcha there.
Oh, and my husband has refused counseling since my son was aged two. I've had counseling, and was told my depression was because I live with someone who probably has a personality disorder. There's pills for depression; there ain't none for personality disorder.
I'm not currently depressed or medicated for such. I've a clean bill of mental health, and you?
