hotpinkauras

I hate insomnia so much, it screws up my days and nights.

Watching music videos and prowling the net has become my favorite pasttime of late.

I feel like, and not to be crass or incensitve to any others, but i feel like ive got this imprint or stain on my soul, maybe thats why ppl never stay long. i dont know what i did, truly to deserve this kind of treatment from others.

what it boils down to, is this, anyone that knows me here in minnesota, minus raven_wing, here, uses me for something. it is the lonliest fucxking exsistence.

and those of you who have become distant out here, you know who you are, its all good. Its all connected to that stupid jealous moron who thought they would complain about a person who they didnt even know. And the little gossip that is spinning around here, well its enough to make me part ways. I hope the driveling witch is happy with herself, i have been picked on and gossiped abut my whole life, i just dont have to take it anymore.

yes, i am still bugged about the penpal group, why bc I didnt deserve to have lies told about me...living in the beauty of the moment and having compassion for even her, a spreader of lies, i guess its nt important, but it is affecting my stay here at SG. i have men emailing me saying i have heard about you. No you havent u friggin ID, the only one who truly knows me personally out here is Raven_wing....its sad to know how even those who claim to be free of judgements are filled with the worst kind.

Believeing in gossip, spreading it, talking smack about others thats not true, not a very good way to be. So if the bullshit emails dont stop, and the weird vibes i wont contnue to stay here, its just about GP now! General Principle, as my dad would say!

now those who truly like me for me out here, show me some love, I need it bad...especially on this day having an emotoinal night of no sleep!

Feels good to vent sometime.