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holland

Canada

Member Since 2004

Followers 110 Following 75

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Sunday Aug 26, 2007

Aug 26, 2007
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God I need to vent
I am so depressed and im trying so hard to not let it get to me! i cant seem to hold it off anymore and i hate it.
theres no one for me to talk to, i mean i can talk to anyone im sure but theres no one that i can tell this too and theyll really feel my pain and be there for me. All my 'friends' will just kinda say 'too bad'
My best friend in the world hasnt called me in the longest time because she doesnt a)have time for me - she has a live in bf now and b) doesnt need me anymore. Therefore she hasnt called to just say hey whats up. She only calls to vent if sometihng TERRIBLE has happened and then i dont hear from her in weeks and when i call her shes too busy.
i have a couple hundred aquantinces and since ive been hanging out in the rockabilly/psyco/car scene ive made more and i hate it. I mean I love going to shows and seeing these people but I cant seem to make a good friend out of any of them. I tried to call a couple this weekend and they all blow me off or whatever. I dont ask for much just good company and its like im not good enough for them.
I know its not my additude becasue apparently everyone is even suprised that im kinda sad because i have so much confidence and im always bubbly - yet its all an act. i just want someone anyone to be mine
I feel like ever one in this world has a man but me. Its so shitty having more women excist than men, all the good ones are taken. I still really really care (and even love) one boy but he doesnt even live in edmonton so i cant have him either. Hes the sweetest cutest man ever and yet hes just too far away.
Im sick of Edmonton and would love to move away but i just commited to two years of school and i want to follow through with this, just so i know i wont be a nobody forever. Ill have a carrer to fall back on and if i want to up and move i can buy a nice apartment because i have the schooling for a good paying job. But as for now, im poor.
I just spent my last $14 on birthcontrol (and im not even getting laid!). I could have 120 bones but the girl who owes it to me is now avoiding me. you think shesd feel kinda bad but she doesnt apparently. I hate people, it all comes back down to how much i hate people! I hate my nagging mom right now, and my controling brother and my fake friends, and all the greedy bitches that control my life
i hate life
im a mess and im alone and im angry and im fucked
fuck
joshkirby:
tell me about Edmonton. Is there a big local music scene? Are there many recording studios? Could a small studio make a profit there? I'll come up and open up shop and be your boyfriend! wink wink wink
Aug 26, 2007
joshkirby:
in massachusetts everyone has their own studio, so you can't really go and start one and make money. What's it like in your area? Could I and a friend potentially make some money doing it?

And when you said go for it, did you mean the whole plan? eeek
Aug 26, 2007

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