About a year ago I was having a discussion with a girl about relationships. She asked me if I'd ever fallen for someone who didn't feel the same. "No." She said it's one of, if not, THE most painful things you can ever go through. God damn was she ever right.
I've been found wanting by the 2 romantic interests I've had lately. Both chose other men over me. I can't blame them. I'm not fun. I'm pretty pissed off most of the time. I wouldn't love them if they were being anything other than what they are, it's just depressing to see someone who means so much to you with someone you know isn't right for them when you are.
In the past 6 months I've gone over a complete image overhaul, cut my hair off, started dressing different, taking care of myself a bit. Not because I wanted to, but because I felt like the world wanted me to change, it was easier for everyone else to deal with me with a less off-putting appearance. I thought it might help my social/love life, or lack there of. But alas, nothing.
I'm starting school at the end of January, going to massage therapy school. I'm moving out, putting a large financial burden on my mother, but I can't care about her and my siblings anymore, I've been selfless for too long. It's true what they say about nice guys finishing last. I will never get anything done if I don't become an asshole at some point or another. I'm not coping with that very well but I know it has too happen. I planning for it to be like pulling off a band-aid, quick and painless, hopefully.
I've been found wanting by the 2 romantic interests I've had lately. Both chose other men over me. I can't blame them. I'm not fun. I'm pretty pissed off most of the time. I wouldn't love them if they were being anything other than what they are, it's just depressing to see someone who means so much to you with someone you know isn't right for them when you are.
In the past 6 months I've gone over a complete image overhaul, cut my hair off, started dressing different, taking care of myself a bit. Not because I wanted to, but because I felt like the world wanted me to change, it was easier for everyone else to deal with me with a less off-putting appearance. I thought it might help my social/love life, or lack there of. But alas, nothing.
I'm starting school at the end of January, going to massage therapy school. I'm moving out, putting a large financial burden on my mother, but I can't care about her and my siblings anymore, I've been selfless for too long. It's true what they say about nice guys finishing last. I will never get anything done if I don't become an asshole at some point or another. I'm not coping with that very well but I know it has too happen. I planning for it to be like pulling off a band-aid, quick and painless, hopefully.
cain:
I had to start smiling and wearing colors for people to start talking to me. Good luck with it, I think you will find yourself with new opportunities. I know I did. And yes, Sarah Palin and the Joker were both in multiple attendance (?) at Halloween. I was surprised I was the only nun.