Last week I told Maria that schizophrenia is a scary illness because by seeing things nobody else sees you’re rendering yourself a target. Nobody relates to your experience of life so you always end up alone and you’re labelled as a loser or a weirdo or whatever.
Looking back on my thirty years, I reckon I’ve been insane for a lot longer than I’ve realised. But in my younger years I managed it really well, I was “touched by mad light” or whatever. So I made it a strength, used it to my advantage. I had a gift.
Things have changed. My thoughts are naked. I’m exposed and I’m living in a hostile world. Schizophrenia is a scary illness because it isolates you, makes you fearful and afraid of everything. Leaving you vulnerable to dehumanisation. Some people never find their way home.