so brent is back to being his happy, energetic self. which is fantastic news! i really hope he manages to stick to his new regime long enough to get the benefit out of it and really make a change. its not going to be easy. i cant help being worried about him, but i just have to support him and hope for the best for him.
i am currently having to deal with a needy boyfriend who i think suspects that i am cheating on him and all i did was not arrange to see him this weekend past! he showed up at my door today unanounced which is a clear sign and then while he was hornily groping me i suddenly felt like i really didnt want him to be doing that! and i hav no idea why. actually, maybe i just felt like he didnt deserve it because i am resenting him for distrusting me and not saying anything about it. im pissed off that he isnt being a man about his feelings and coming out with it. i think also, i backed off because he was getting too clingy and now he is sulking. come on, i dont hav space in my life for a baby!
this weekend i DID have a great time with emily and ross and jess at this awesome restaurant called Little Bay which had this crazy opera singer in it who took a shining for me after he lay across our table and serenaded emily. it was so funny and the food and service was fantastic! ended up staying over at theirs doing coke and drinking and trying to teach this random girl to become an empowered woman.
mom has had two setbacks today. she found a place to move to but got told her boss' old secretary wants to come back and she gets on better with his other secretary. and then this new place wanted to charge her a months rent and SIX WEEKS in advance deposit!? it came to like 960 or something. so she couldnt get the place and she was so stoked about it. so i hav to try and keep her head up for her. i wish she was more authoritive. i wish she had self respect and took control of her life more and of me more. i think if she pushed me, i wouldnt be such a lazy slacker. i feel really bad. she is always giving me hand outs because ive been lazy and tried to weazle my way out of hard work.
i want to go and find a regular bar job tomorrow and keep dancing 3 nights a week. and keep applying for a job at a book store. id love to work in a bookstore. our local waterstones isnt looking for staff right now, but im going to at least apply. during the winter, its better to have a day job and then bugger off for the summer.
i dont know if i am attracted to cassiano anymore. his whole sulky baby act has really put me off. and everytime i think about how to fix this issue, i wonder if i really want to. but then i wonder if i will miss having a boyfriend. but really, i just want to start doing something with my life. get fit. take dance classes, pay off my debts. have something to say about myself. i want to stop being so lazy and i would love to try start djing again if i can slowly buy the equipment and live in a place where i could play music.
i have been watching back to back torrented episodes of ugly betty which i think is quite good and i like all the characters especially ice queen's gay assistant and betty's sister's son. i think i need a little gay in my life. yes, definately. such positive, fabulous people. and thats what i am trying to get to - positive and fabulous!
i watched employee of the month yesterday. funny. couldve been better. jessica simpson is really wooden. i am always the one who holds out for those stars everyone kicks down wen they try another career avenue but really, she could definately do better.
i really must make some money so i can get to the gym, go out with mario, move out of this shit hole, get my hair and nails done and pay off my damn debts!
ooh watched the end of so you think you can dance and was shocked that musa was kicked out!? WTF!? he was WAY better than that poncy dimitri guy!!!
do you know what, i want to work for myself, be my own boss and do what i love. i really should start djing and dance classes again...
Right. Priorities:
1. get a day job.
2. move out of this place.
3. get back to the gym.
4. start dance classes.
5. apply for naturalisation.
6. pay off credit card (reinstate weekly payment).
7. pay off overdraft.
8. buy video camera.
9. learn dreamweaver.
10. learn spanish.
11. book trip to costa rica.
i am currently having to deal with a needy boyfriend who i think suspects that i am cheating on him and all i did was not arrange to see him this weekend past! he showed up at my door today unanounced which is a clear sign and then while he was hornily groping me i suddenly felt like i really didnt want him to be doing that! and i hav no idea why. actually, maybe i just felt like he didnt deserve it because i am resenting him for distrusting me and not saying anything about it. im pissed off that he isnt being a man about his feelings and coming out with it. i think also, i backed off because he was getting too clingy and now he is sulking. come on, i dont hav space in my life for a baby!
this weekend i DID have a great time with emily and ross and jess at this awesome restaurant called Little Bay which had this crazy opera singer in it who took a shining for me after he lay across our table and serenaded emily. it was so funny and the food and service was fantastic! ended up staying over at theirs doing coke and drinking and trying to teach this random girl to become an empowered woman.
mom has had two setbacks today. she found a place to move to but got told her boss' old secretary wants to come back and she gets on better with his other secretary. and then this new place wanted to charge her a months rent and SIX WEEKS in advance deposit!? it came to like 960 or something. so she couldnt get the place and she was so stoked about it. so i hav to try and keep her head up for her. i wish she was more authoritive. i wish she had self respect and took control of her life more and of me more. i think if she pushed me, i wouldnt be such a lazy slacker. i feel really bad. she is always giving me hand outs because ive been lazy and tried to weazle my way out of hard work.
i want to go and find a regular bar job tomorrow and keep dancing 3 nights a week. and keep applying for a job at a book store. id love to work in a bookstore. our local waterstones isnt looking for staff right now, but im going to at least apply. during the winter, its better to have a day job and then bugger off for the summer.
i dont know if i am attracted to cassiano anymore. his whole sulky baby act has really put me off. and everytime i think about how to fix this issue, i wonder if i really want to. but then i wonder if i will miss having a boyfriend. but really, i just want to start doing something with my life. get fit. take dance classes, pay off my debts. have something to say about myself. i want to stop being so lazy and i would love to try start djing again if i can slowly buy the equipment and live in a place where i could play music.
i have been watching back to back torrented episodes of ugly betty which i think is quite good and i like all the characters especially ice queen's gay assistant and betty's sister's son. i think i need a little gay in my life. yes, definately. such positive, fabulous people. and thats what i am trying to get to - positive and fabulous!
i watched employee of the month yesterday. funny. couldve been better. jessica simpson is really wooden. i am always the one who holds out for those stars everyone kicks down wen they try another career avenue but really, she could definately do better.
i really must make some money so i can get to the gym, go out with mario, move out of this shit hole, get my hair and nails done and pay off my damn debts!
ooh watched the end of so you think you can dance and was shocked that musa was kicked out!? WTF!? he was WAY better than that poncy dimitri guy!!!
do you know what, i want to work for myself, be my own boss and do what i love. i really should start djing and dance classes again...
Right. Priorities:
1. get a day job.
2. move out of this place.
3. get back to the gym.
4. start dance classes.
5. apply for naturalisation.
6. pay off credit card (reinstate weekly payment).
7. pay off overdraft.
8. buy video camera.
9. learn dreamweaver.
10. learn spanish.
11. book trip to costa rica.
what kind of job will you be looking for?