So I guess I should. It's been a long time since I have seen any of my friends for a hang out. I've talked to a few via text and Facebook and such, but it's been a month or two since I have actually seen them to hang out with them. It's really starting to get to me. I always used to ask via Facebook and text and so on for people to hang out and nothing ever happened. Now, for quite a while actually, a month I guess, I haven't even tried. There doesn't seem to be any use to me. I know I may sound iffy on length of times for various things, but I've actually lost track of time with how long it's been and I can't really be sure. It's a terrible, lonely feeling. Making new friends is useless as it always leads to the same thing.
I always try to help out my friends. I try to brighten their day, help them out when they ask for it, or even when they don't. Not in a way where they don't want or need, help, just I try to help them out anyway. They are, some of them, honestly appreciative and grateful, but I also know when it comes time and I want to hang out, they have excuses. A lot of the excuses are indeed real excuses, such as work, money, etc, but they are also convenient excuses. What I mean is, while that is keeping them from hanging out, they can conveniently give me that excuse without having to make one up. I'm getting really tired of it. It really sucks when I see these people all eager to hang out with other people, but not me. I don't know. Maybe they really can't, but they want to, but it's hard for me to believe that. Many of my friends have stabbed me in the back and it's given me trust issues, but it's also made me wise to how things are. 99% of the time I am right about people and their intentions in the end.
I don't know, I mean I have things to entertain me here. I've been collecting a lot of the classic Doctor Who DVD's and am getting the recent episodes that were found. I picked up Beyond: Two Souls and it's an amazing game to play. Still, those things will still be there when I get back from hanging with people, so they don't fill that void. I've also been going out on my own to get the clothing and accessories for my Halloween costume, the second Doctor, but as you can see in my profile picture, it's done. I've also been going to eat a little. While all this is better than staying at home, it's still ultimately boring. I'm just alone out there, yes, I can talk to people through text and have a friend who talks to me most of the time, but I suspect they are one of the ones who avoid hanging out with me in person. Again, maybe I'm just being paranoid, but when you're right as much as I am, it gives you cause for reasonable doubt. I know what to look for and I know the signs.
I guess it's whatever for now. Maybe it's just a bad rut. Maybe I can make new friends and maybe they will be more willing to hang out. Whatever, if you're reading this, thanks for listening.