gundamfury

Sometimes, I feel simply murderous. I just want to kill everyone, feel the blood between my fingers, and I want to do it with just my hands, and a knife. But I hate that I every feel like that. I feel like Im turning into a monster, and it makes me so unhappy. But its hard to think of what happiness is much anymore. It seems to be something that I cant even get a grasp on anymore. Just in moments of clarity that I get some days. But even those dont last. And apparently, everyone around me is unhappy too. So, am I the problem? I bet most people cant imagine what it feels like to hope to get into a fatal collision on the way home. But I would never commit suicide. Just to be clear. I just want someone to fuck up on the other side of the road and veer into me head-on, at highway speed. That way, I could be out of their misery, and the insurance money would be paid. But its not going to happen, Im too good of a driver, and my survival instincts are too powerful. So it looks like Im going to be ruining peoples lives till the end of the world. Cause apparently its ending next year. This isnt how I planed to live my life.