The following is a true life story about what I do for a living. Hopefully you guys don't find it boring and will finish reading it all. If you don't finish it all, I understand.
Just let me say one thing before I really start this, most of my customers are really nice people with good families. On the other hand I deal with drug addicts, alcoholics, sex offenders, straights, gays, rednecks, hillbillies, trustafarians, yuppies, liars, cheaters, pedophile, normal people, really weird people, large, SMALL, tall, short, male, female, transvestites, sports heroes, nobodies, drifters, band members, part timers, artsey fartsy's, black, white, yellow, purple, blue, red and just about anyone from all walks of life. No I don't work in the prison system or work in a medical field. No I am not a hooker or pimp either!
I have worked for most of my short twenty nine years and never really had the schedule to get into watching soap operas. My soap operas consist of my customers and my interaction with them. There has been many times when I leave a customer I'm forced to stop and think about what I just heard or saw. Most of time they make me smile and laugh, but their are occasions when I leave in utter shock, horror and disgust. When you have such a diverse amount of people for customers like I do you tend to get good at reading people. In my business you have to be able to tell if the guy in front of you is lying or telling the truth all within just a few minutes. Are you willing to give the guy several hundred dollars of stuff on a handshake agreement and be able to sleep that night. That is the decision I have to live with everyday. With all the pre mentioned said if you haven't guessed what I do for a living yet you may never. Also, the following are some of my day to day true stories.
When I first started my job a few years ago I was proceeded by a gentleman that was very clean, anal, very 80's, non-creative and just plain boring. I have known the guy for several years and hooked him up by getting him together with my company when I wasn't working for them. He is very very nice and considerate and would do anything for you. Good to have around as a friend. He is one that is easily influenced and will stand up for what he knows/believes in. He also is a very hard worker and keeps his work area very very clean and perfect looking. How annoying is that shit? If you ever have to follow a guy like that be prepared because customers will notice your flaws. Although I have way more creative marketing behind me, have far more technical knowledge of products and have almost doubled my numbers over his within the first year there is still a feeling that I haven't done as well as he did. Whatever. He is a good guy and I stay in contact with him on almost a weekly basis.
When was the last time you could honestly say that you drove past a customers residence and witnessed him/her in their underwear doing a crack induced cartwheel in the front yard in twenty degree weather? Saw it a few months ago. Almost crashed my truck because I couldn't believe it. He didn't even have the common courtesy to wear some boxers so you couldn't see his junk. Damn tighty whitetys. This was the same guy who on Christmas Eve at eight at night was told to keep it down by his boss because he was on the phone with his wife. What does Crack head Jack do? He walks over to his boss's back, grabs him, spins him around while the boss is on the phone still, and cold cocks him in the face not once but three times! Before I go any further I have to ask what would you do if you were in this predicament and Crack head Jack's boss? Me too. For some God controlled "be jolly to all during the holidays" reason that still has be boogled to this day his boss camly peels himself off the floor and calls thirty nine year old Crack head Jack's eighty year old father to come down and get him. Crack head Jack does not retain his employment at that facility, but he is seen almost everyday still hanging out there trying to help out and extinguish his every lasting guilt. Which will never go away because of the tiny "I have to drink two fifths a day of the cheapest, mind rotting, brain acid whiskey" problem. Along with the tiny crack problem that leaves him doing his pre mentioned cartwheels in his tighty whittes. I have actually witnessed Crack head Jack after selling him a product that same product showing up in a pawn shop within the next few days only for one of his co-workers to purchase it for half price. Enough about Crack head Jack.
I like my job a lot because it fulfills parts of other careers that I have always wanted to pursue. Such as a bartender. How cool would that be? The part of the job that is like Sammy's on Cheers is the part where my customers intrust me with personal information that they would never tell anyone else. I hear about hiring, firings, changes of business locations, closings, grand openings, love children, divorces in the works, infidelity, what they truly think about co-workers and everything else they would never tell their wives or buddies. Pretty interesting stuff. Part of that is how people will just open up to you without having knowing them for years. They will be with me for a few minutes a week and spill their guts. I am still waiting for one of them to tell me that he has a plan to off somebody. What the hell do I do then? Is it considered patient doctor confidentiality(no I am not a doctor or brain digging bitch)? Probably not. Sometimes when I see that a customer is mentally unstable there is some need to watch how fast you move or what you say. I am always afraid one of them will snap and go off on me. You just never know. Again I have to remind you that most of my customers are good and honest people.
The other career that I have always wanted to pursue was becoming a disc jockey on a rock radio station. Not one of those trendy rock radio stations where they give away tickets to a lame sold out pop concert, but a cool one that will let you get drunk or high with the members of the band. The definition of cool you might ask would be defined as my music of course. Well I am always up for suggestions to the path of discovering new, cool music. The way my current job relates to disc jockey is through the wonderful little creation of Apple's iPod. With this little eighth wonder of the world my customers are faced with the question almost every time they see me of "Hey who is that on the radio?" Then I have to go into who they are, what song it is and what ever else I know about the band. After a while a lot of my customers have went out and bought cd's based on what they hear because of me. That is a donation in social services if I have ever seen one.
Just let me say one thing before I really start this, most of my customers are really nice people with good families. On the other hand I deal with drug addicts, alcoholics, sex offenders, straights, gays, rednecks, hillbillies, trustafarians, yuppies, liars, cheaters, pedophile, normal people, really weird people, large, SMALL, tall, short, male, female, transvestites, sports heroes, nobodies, drifters, band members, part timers, artsey fartsy's, black, white, yellow, purple, blue, red and just about anyone from all walks of life. No I don't work in the prison system or work in a medical field. No I am not a hooker or pimp either!
I have worked for most of my short twenty nine years and never really had the schedule to get into watching soap operas. My soap operas consist of my customers and my interaction with them. There has been many times when I leave a customer I'm forced to stop and think about what I just heard or saw. Most of time they make me smile and laugh, but their are occasions when I leave in utter shock, horror and disgust. When you have such a diverse amount of people for customers like I do you tend to get good at reading people. In my business you have to be able to tell if the guy in front of you is lying or telling the truth all within just a few minutes. Are you willing to give the guy several hundred dollars of stuff on a handshake agreement and be able to sleep that night. That is the decision I have to live with everyday. With all the pre mentioned said if you haven't guessed what I do for a living yet you may never. Also, the following are some of my day to day true stories.
When I first started my job a few years ago I was proceeded by a gentleman that was very clean, anal, very 80's, non-creative and just plain boring. I have known the guy for several years and hooked him up by getting him together with my company when I wasn't working for them. He is very very nice and considerate and would do anything for you. Good to have around as a friend. He is one that is easily influenced and will stand up for what he knows/believes in. He also is a very hard worker and keeps his work area very very clean and perfect looking. How annoying is that shit? If you ever have to follow a guy like that be prepared because customers will notice your flaws. Although I have way more creative marketing behind me, have far more technical knowledge of products and have almost doubled my numbers over his within the first year there is still a feeling that I haven't done as well as he did. Whatever. He is a good guy and I stay in contact with him on almost a weekly basis.
When was the last time you could honestly say that you drove past a customers residence and witnessed him/her in their underwear doing a crack induced cartwheel in the front yard in twenty degree weather? Saw it a few months ago. Almost crashed my truck because I couldn't believe it. He didn't even have the common courtesy to wear some boxers so you couldn't see his junk. Damn tighty whitetys. This was the same guy who on Christmas Eve at eight at night was told to keep it down by his boss because he was on the phone with his wife. What does Crack head Jack do? He walks over to his boss's back, grabs him, spins him around while the boss is on the phone still, and cold cocks him in the face not once but three times! Before I go any further I have to ask what would you do if you were in this predicament and Crack head Jack's boss? Me too. For some God controlled "be jolly to all during the holidays" reason that still has be boogled to this day his boss camly peels himself off the floor and calls thirty nine year old Crack head Jack's eighty year old father to come down and get him. Crack head Jack does not retain his employment at that facility, but he is seen almost everyday still hanging out there trying to help out and extinguish his every lasting guilt. Which will never go away because of the tiny "I have to drink two fifths a day of the cheapest, mind rotting, brain acid whiskey" problem. Along with the tiny crack problem that leaves him doing his pre mentioned cartwheels in his tighty whittes. I have actually witnessed Crack head Jack after selling him a product that same product showing up in a pawn shop within the next few days only for one of his co-workers to purchase it for half price. Enough about Crack head Jack.
I like my job a lot because it fulfills parts of other careers that I have always wanted to pursue. Such as a bartender. How cool would that be? The part of the job that is like Sammy's on Cheers is the part where my customers intrust me with personal information that they would never tell anyone else. I hear about hiring, firings, changes of business locations, closings, grand openings, love children, divorces in the works, infidelity, what they truly think about co-workers and everything else they would never tell their wives or buddies. Pretty interesting stuff. Part of that is how people will just open up to you without having knowing them for years. They will be with me for a few minutes a week and spill their guts. I am still waiting for one of them to tell me that he has a plan to off somebody. What the hell do I do then? Is it considered patient doctor confidentiality(no I am not a doctor or brain digging bitch)? Probably not. Sometimes when I see that a customer is mentally unstable there is some need to watch how fast you move or what you say. I am always afraid one of them will snap and go off on me. You just never know. Again I have to remind you that most of my customers are good and honest people.
The other career that I have always wanted to pursue was becoming a disc jockey on a rock radio station. Not one of those trendy rock radio stations where they give away tickets to a lame sold out pop concert, but a cool one that will let you get drunk or high with the members of the band. The definition of cool you might ask would be defined as my music of course. Well I am always up for suggestions to the path of discovering new, cool music. The way my current job relates to disc jockey is through the wonderful little creation of Apple's iPod. With this little eighth wonder of the world my customers are faced with the question almost every time they see me of "Hey who is that on the radio?" Then I have to go into who they are, what song it is and what ever else I know about the band. After a while a lot of my customers have went out and bought cd's based on what they hear because of me. That is a donation in social services if I have ever seen one.
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