All I ever do is work anymore.
I don't do anything else except work.
I worked 15 hours yesterday.
I realized something yesterday also..
I was forced into being a hermit.
Because I don't have a car..
And up until recently I didn't know how to take a bus... I'm not even kidding.
Well I digress.
So.. I have a friend who wants me to go to the gym with her.
And she wants to hangout.
And this and that..
She's the only one that seems to have a problem with me being a hermit.
Well what I came to realize yesterday was... As much as it was forced in the beginning it's not forced anymore. I've left my house maybe 40 times since December 4th of last year..
I enjoy being by myself. I enjoy not going outside. I dislike the outdoors. It's gross and it's hot, and I just don't like it at all..
I'm disgusted with society.
However being a hermit is starting to take its toll on me, psychologically.
When I started being a hermit, I already had an acute (very small) case of agoraphobia, but since I don't have to leave the agoraphobia is growing and it's sickening. The thought of going outside scares the hell out of me anymore. Even the thought of it makes me feel sick to my stomach.. I literally want to vomit just thinking about going outside... And then if you couple that with anthrophobia (literally the fear of people) it's not a good combination.. It's getting to the point where I should probably be on disability, however.. I have things that I want to do like job wise.. As much as I'm afraid of people and the outside I still want to be a lawyer, and as much as I'm going to have a problem with going to actual school next year I think I need to..
Don't get me wrong, I go to college, sort of.. I did, and then I had problems with my financial aid.. But I start school back in the spring, only it's just online.. Well in the 2010-2011 school year, I will actually be attending the University of Cincinnati. And just the thought of going to actual school scares the hell out of me..
I need to go to work. I'm done talking about this right now..
I don't do anything else except work.
I worked 15 hours yesterday.
I realized something yesterday also..
I was forced into being a hermit.
Because I don't have a car..
And up until recently I didn't know how to take a bus... I'm not even kidding.
Well I digress.
So.. I have a friend who wants me to go to the gym with her.
And she wants to hangout.
And this and that..
She's the only one that seems to have a problem with me being a hermit.
Well what I came to realize yesterday was... As much as it was forced in the beginning it's not forced anymore. I've left my house maybe 40 times since December 4th of last year..
I enjoy being by myself. I enjoy not going outside. I dislike the outdoors. It's gross and it's hot, and I just don't like it at all..
I'm disgusted with society.
However being a hermit is starting to take its toll on me, psychologically.
When I started being a hermit, I already had an acute (very small) case of agoraphobia, but since I don't have to leave the agoraphobia is growing and it's sickening. The thought of going outside scares the hell out of me anymore. Even the thought of it makes me feel sick to my stomach.. I literally want to vomit just thinking about going outside... And then if you couple that with anthrophobia (literally the fear of people) it's not a good combination.. It's getting to the point where I should probably be on disability, however.. I have things that I want to do like job wise.. As much as I'm afraid of people and the outside I still want to be a lawyer, and as much as I'm going to have a problem with going to actual school next year I think I need to..
Don't get me wrong, I go to college, sort of.. I did, and then I had problems with my financial aid.. But I start school back in the spring, only it's just online.. Well in the 2010-2011 school year, I will actually be attending the University of Cincinnati. And just the thought of going to actual school scares the hell out of me..
I need to go to work. I'm done talking about this right now..