Three months
It has now been three months since my son was born. I still have not seen him from almost a month ago when i found he was actually my son. For that reason at least I am looking forward to Thursday at the court date when i might actually be able to see him. I am looking forward to being excited about this and not just stressed about it as while it feels very serious. It does not feel entirely real yet not having seen him. I am hoping that me and him mother can be on better terms after we see each other in person as she is not talking to me as it is now.
I am very aggravated about my life being out of my hands in many ways and under the affluence of the whims of the court. I have been, and continue to try to handle this situation to the best of my abilities. I keep being disrespected, ignored and marginalized by this process. It has been making irritable of late and I would like that to stop. I am hoping that when i get a car the vague empowerment will at least let be able to relieve my stress a bit. It will let me choose some of my level of involvement at least, rather then having me pr actually at the mercy of forces around me. Any one who know me well knows i do now handle shackles well. Part of the reason i used to live on the street was my burning need to NOT be trapped by other people petty drama. Life is to short for such trivialities. Not having grown up with a father, it is very important to em toe be a good father and be there for my son. That is not what constrains me. It is strictly the emasculating process of the courts, as well as my specific exclusion by my son mother thus far, though i hope the later will change at least in time.
Regardless of how the courts play out. I look forward to the time when I can move on with my life, my son a part of it. As of now it seems only a long erogenous path lies ahead of me.
It has now been three months since my son was born. I still have not seen him from almost a month ago when i found he was actually my son. For that reason at least I am looking forward to Thursday at the court date when i might actually be able to see him. I am looking forward to being excited about this and not just stressed about it as while it feels very serious. It does not feel entirely real yet not having seen him. I am hoping that me and him mother can be on better terms after we see each other in person as she is not talking to me as it is now.
I am very aggravated about my life being out of my hands in many ways and under the affluence of the whims of the court. I have been, and continue to try to handle this situation to the best of my abilities. I keep being disrespected, ignored and marginalized by this process. It has been making irritable of late and I would like that to stop. I am hoping that when i get a car the vague empowerment will at least let be able to relieve my stress a bit. It will let me choose some of my level of involvement at least, rather then having me pr actually at the mercy of forces around me. Any one who know me well knows i do now handle shackles well. Part of the reason i used to live on the street was my burning need to NOT be trapped by other people petty drama. Life is to short for such trivialities. Not having grown up with a father, it is very important to em toe be a good father and be there for my son. That is not what constrains me. It is strictly the emasculating process of the courts, as well as my specific exclusion by my son mother thus far, though i hope the later will change at least in time.
Regardless of how the courts play out. I look forward to the time when I can move on with my life, my son a part of it. As of now it seems only a long erogenous path lies ahead of me.