Things that offend me about this country:
I think it's offensive that National Geographic thinks they have to call themselves NAT GEO.
I hated it when September 11 became nine-eleven.
We need to shorten everything. J-Lo. It's as if we hate language.
Yesterday I was at the gym and there was an Ashley (Ashlee?) Simpson video on in front of the treadmills. I didn't recognize her. Turns out she got a nose job. That reminded me of this:
"Michael Jackson is pop king of sick fucking country."
She looked cuter with the big nose. Someone told her it was unacceptable. Sad.
Also, advertising.
That's it for this edition of Things that offend me about this country
I'm freaking out. I fell asleep early and woke up just now, as Hillary came home from a bar. I had this dream that seemed to go on and on in which I was a father. Fuck if it wasn't some freaky shit. I had this baby-- and I was super proud. But it was as if Hillary was never pregnant. Like we kept showing this newborn and saying "Look what we did!"
Like this kid just happened overnight.
And I was super excited to show he-she-it off as if it were a new tattoo or something. When she woke me up we were about to show the kid to her father. I was thinking about not smoking while driving anymore because the ash would blow into the baby seat.
The whole thing will probably follow me around all day.
I need a shower and a milkshake.
and to marry Judy Greer. and Marjane Satrapi.
I think it's offensive that National Geographic thinks they have to call themselves NAT GEO.
I hated it when September 11 became nine-eleven.
We need to shorten everything. J-Lo. It's as if we hate language.
Yesterday I was at the gym and there was an Ashley (Ashlee?) Simpson video on in front of the treadmills. I didn't recognize her. Turns out she got a nose job. That reminded me of this:
"Michael Jackson is pop king of sick fucking country."
She looked cuter with the big nose. Someone told her it was unacceptable. Sad.
Also, advertising.
That's it for this edition of Things that offend me about this country
I'm freaking out. I fell asleep early and woke up just now, as Hillary came home from a bar. I had this dream that seemed to go on and on in which I was a father. Fuck if it wasn't some freaky shit. I had this baby-- and I was super proud. But it was as if Hillary was never pregnant. Like we kept showing this newborn and saying "Look what we did!"
Like this kid just happened overnight.
And I was super excited to show he-she-it off as if it were a new tattoo or something. When she woke me up we were about to show the kid to her father. I was thinking about not smoking while driving anymore because the ash would blow into the baby seat.
The whole thing will probably follow me around all day.
I need a shower and a milkshake.
and to marry Judy Greer. and Marjane Satrapi.
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
I think that the biggest downfall was cell phones and fucking web tv, without cell phones we wouldn't have GAY txt talking and without web tv we probably wouldn't have chat rooms in which people don't even really talk anymore, they use fucking confusing code lingo.
a/s/l?
Also, I wholeheartedly agree with Miss Simpson's nose. why she would mess around with God's work is beyond my comprehension and should never have been allowed. I had a similar dream except I had built some sort of greek temple. Don't even ask, it must be related to my craving of Saint Seiya, but still...