"Not Even Jail"

So I talked to cunt-face today and she said she was going to be paid in full by the 3rd of March. I'm going to fucking hold my breath on that one. I would have kicked her out quicker, but I dont think its fair for the dog not to have a home just because its owner is a worthless bag of smegma. Heres my update for the weekend:

Got pretty shitty at barneys on Friday. Then a friend of mine drove his car into the side of a gas station drunk. If any of you live near beverly and fairfax go check out the entrance to the exxon station's convenience store. So he plows into the wall and none of us were wearing seatbelts, and now my back is fucking terrible and my elbows and knees are fucking killing me. So he was shit-faced and didnt really want a d.u.i. so I did what any drunk person would do, I thought back to an episode of C.S.I. and told him to go home and have a drink and told him I'd call him when the cops showed up. So he did, i called when the cops came, he comes back and the cops knew he was full of shit, but couldn't prove that he wasn't drunk from the booze he suppossedly had at home so to make a long story less long, he didnt get a d.u.i. and we are all relatively ok. The rest of the weekend was fairly uneventful next to that, went to a fight at staples center tuesday with my dad and had an incredible time, then went to star shoes saturday night for a friend's birthday and cut chemist was dj'ing. Then Sunday had a nice dinner with friends and family. Oh i forgot that the guy driving the tow truck friday night didnt see me running to get in it and hit me, but luckily stopped short of running me over. Works going good, i got moved to a couch today, which means that now not only do i get paid to play videogames all day, i get to sit on a couch with a table as a foot rest.

Hopefully I'll be hanging out with violently tomorrow night and we can figure out a good reason for me to not go to work and go to mexico instead. (besides getting a pet monkey and the donkey show) On a good note, I haven't puked in my mouth while sleeping in a few days and I just listened to mexican radio.

If any of you guys could suggest books to read it would be greatly appreciated, after i read running with scissors, ill be out of books.

I'm glad to see somebody got my mitch hedberg reference ( hotcurry ), I'm kind of a douche when it gets to responding to people's comments, but I really do appreciate yours.

Alright you fuckers, have a good night but before I go I feel its necessary to let everyone know how much i hate kids, there like retarded adults in smaller wrappers.

P.S. Don't fuck with the helmet brigade.