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freakqueen

Canada

Member Since 2004

Followers 65 Following 25

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Friday Jul 22, 2005

Jul 21, 2005
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Ohhh.. I don't know if MonkeyMan is actually right. I mean, i understand how one in a million it is. Thankfully, there's 6 billion people in this world smile

Sean's still around. He didn't just give up on me like I had expected him to. I put up a damn good fight too. I refused to talk to him and ignored him for a long while. I tried to cut him off. But he persisted and I realized he'd always be there.

Or at least that's what i'm hoping.

See, one of many reasons i wanted to end things was because i thought he'd leave me over something stupid. Or at least, something I'd consider stupid. We get into these arguments a lot. They're very emotionally draining.

None of the emotions i had invested into Keith are considered a waste. None of that time. We shared something wonderful. We still sort of do. We're still friends. All that love, hate and everything in-between has just strengthened our relationship, believe it or not.
I know he's always going to be in my life because all of our old reasons for seperating are now reasons to stay together. Because we got over it.
"Hey, remember that time we played heavy mind games and said hateful things?" It's not possible to hate someone that much without deeply caring about them. We still have our issues. The ones that bother me the most get talked about. We'd be together and I'd randomly start questioning him with all the questions that have been bugging me. Even when we're silent and i'm thinking of all the things not to say [things i want to say, but i'm not ready to discuss]; I'm grateful and happy about how things have turned out.

So, i'm now given the chance to start all over again. With a boy I don't resent. I've been holding back. I suspect he's been doing the same. Fear is a wonderful thing.

i've been working 60 hour weeks and pulling all-nighters. I've tipped over while kayaking and badly scraped my knee.
my right index finger is swollen and bruised.
it's ridiculously hot out in vancouver and so i've been spending most of my time by the water.
it's where i work, so it's not a far commute.

i would've updated more but i forgot my password and was too lazy to have it be sent to my e-mail address.

pough:
It's been a while since I've had to do math. 1 in a million, for six billion is... 6000? Do you have time to get with them all? That could be fun, if a little draining.

Are you doing the "pushing someone away to see if they'll stay" thing? That never made any sense to me, but it sure seems to work for some people. Or, at least, it's what they do.

BTW, I've had two people show some interest in my motorbike. I'm dying to get it away from me. It's torture.
Jul 26, 2005
wottan:
Yow 60 hour weeks? Thats rough, at least youre spending time by the water though, definetly very relaxing.
Jul 26, 2005

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