feartheclown699

well fuck it, so i did good for a while, i made it to friday evening. that was very good for me, the not drinking really wasn't bothering me, it was the not smoking that was making me a bit bitchy. Friday i finally said fuck it i was going to have a beer after work, unfortunetly it tasted soooooo good, i just had to have one more. And well folks, you know what happened after that. Saturday i did pretty well, some friends came down from GA, since i am working in FL and hung out for the weekend. spent most of the day with them sat. and sat. night. had a beer or two, nothing much cuz i knew i had to drive, but everyone else getting trashed, i just had a beer or two. sunday i felt a little rough, had a bloody mary, bloody molly, and some beer. the ol lady called bitchin cuz i was drinkin, so i said fuck it. we hung out and still had a pretty good time. they crashed here last night. got up at like 4 am and left. and i realized that even though i drank, i can still not drink all this week and be ok. maybe straight edge was just a little too much. maybe i should just take it a little bit slower. ahhh fuck it, i'll just take it as it comes and be happy with it til i hate it.....

on a lighter note i am going home wed. for the first time in 8 weeks which is great. Get to see my babies, and teh ol lady too. spend a little time at home finally. i'm due for a break anyway. be home til the 2nd or 3rd of June, then back down here for one last go round. Hopefully finish up everything and then make a few decisions on what i am gonna do next, be it pursue a new career down here, or stich with what i am doing and just carry my ass on somewhere else. That is a whole nother blog post there

who wouldn't want to get back to this...........