So . . . er . . . now that I'm a single man again, I've been giving some oblique thought to dating. Dating really doesn't much interest me right now, but I was thinking that it might some day and that, after 10+ years of marriage, I might be a bit rusty and need a little practice.
I had met a young woman a week or two ago while walking into work whom I found attractive. We had walked together and chatted a bit, and she seemed very thoughtful in her replies. I assumed that she was a foreign graduate student. Now, I don't know what the university's policy is on faculty dating students, but it's one of the unwritten perks of faculty-dom that you get to date graduate students. I mean, why else would we sit through all of those interminable meetings, listening to our gas-bag colleagues bloviate out of their ample, pasty asses? For our salaries? Ha! There isn't enough money in the world!
So I decided that if I ran into her again, I'd ask her if she'd like to go out on a casual date.
[Cue Sade: Smooth Operator]
As luck would have it, I ran into her earlier this week. We chatted for a bit as we walked, and it turned out that she was an undergraduate rather than a graduate student, but I thought to myself, what the hell, it's not like an evening with me's going to be anything but platonic, and I told her that I'd enjoyed our earlier conversations and that I thought that she was remarkably lovely and then I asked whether she might like to have dinner or a walk 'round the lake sometime.
Now, the whole time I'm saying the above, her body language is getting more and more awkward, like she's putting a lot of thought into what she's going to say next. What she said next was, "Well, I think I should tell you something: I'm studying to be a nun, and I'm going to enter the convent this fall."
"Ah," I replied. Then there was a looooong and awkward silence. In a kind of jocular way, I broke it by saying, "Well, I suppose you could have just said I was too old for you."
Then she started laughing a little, too, and said, "There is that, too. This is my first year of college."
[/Abruptly Stop Sade: Smooth Operator]
So I told her again that I very much did enjoy talking with her and that I hoped to see her again, and we parted ways.
Well, I happened to bump into her today, and after a bit of chatting, I said, "So, still not interested in a date?"
She looked puzzled for a second, and then she looked like she was going to say, "No," so I said, "It's 'cause I'm too old, isn't it? Well, what about this other fellow you're interested in?"
She looked puzzled again, and I supplied, "You know, Jesus? I'm no gossip, but from what I've heard about that guy, he's 2000 years old if he's a day."
She started laughing like crazy.
So, to recap: The first woman I attempt to ask out on a date is very lovely and thinks I'm a funny, funny, funny man, but she's also a soon-to-be nun who's half my age.
I haven't even really gotten started with the dating nonsense yet, but the signs suggest to me that I should just pack it in.
I had met a young woman a week or two ago while walking into work whom I found attractive. We had walked together and chatted a bit, and she seemed very thoughtful in her replies. I assumed that she was a foreign graduate student. Now, I don't know what the university's policy is on faculty dating students, but it's one of the unwritten perks of faculty-dom that you get to date graduate students. I mean, why else would we sit through all of those interminable meetings, listening to our gas-bag colleagues bloviate out of their ample, pasty asses? For our salaries? Ha! There isn't enough money in the world!
So I decided that if I ran into her again, I'd ask her if she'd like to go out on a casual date.
[Cue Sade: Smooth Operator]
As luck would have it, I ran into her earlier this week. We chatted for a bit as we walked, and it turned out that she was an undergraduate rather than a graduate student, but I thought to myself, what the hell, it's not like an evening with me's going to be anything but platonic, and I told her that I'd enjoyed our earlier conversations and that I thought that she was remarkably lovely and then I asked whether she might like to have dinner or a walk 'round the lake sometime.
Now, the whole time I'm saying the above, her body language is getting more and more awkward, like she's putting a lot of thought into what she's going to say next. What she said next was, "Well, I think I should tell you something: I'm studying to be a nun, and I'm going to enter the convent this fall."
"Ah," I replied. Then there was a looooong and awkward silence. In a kind of jocular way, I broke it by saying, "Well, I suppose you could have just said I was too old for you."
Then she started laughing a little, too, and said, "There is that, too. This is my first year of college."
[/Abruptly Stop Sade: Smooth Operator]
So I told her again that I very much did enjoy talking with her and that I hoped to see her again, and we parted ways.
Well, I happened to bump into her today, and after a bit of chatting, I said, "So, still not interested in a date?"
She looked puzzled for a second, and then she looked like she was going to say, "No," so I said, "It's 'cause I'm too old, isn't it? Well, what about this other fellow you're interested in?"
She looked puzzled again, and I supplied, "You know, Jesus? I'm no gossip, but from what I've heard about that guy, he's 2000 years old if he's a day."
She started laughing like crazy.
So, to recap: The first woman I attempt to ask out on a date is very lovely and thinks I'm a funny, funny, funny man, but she's also a soon-to-be nun who's half my age.
I haven't even really gotten started with the dating nonsense yet, but the signs suggest to me that I should just pack it in.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
seriously though, keep at this dating caper. even if only to regale us with more stories like this.
your journal entries are always pure, unadulterated gold.